


Love and the Purple Palace

by takhallus



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Airplane Crashes, Airplanes, Character Death In Dream, M/M, Size Kink, cabin crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 02:01:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4985722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takhallus/pseuds/takhallus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is an air steward looking for a quick and easy fling with the handsome new bar manager at his crew hotel. He gets more than he bargained for with Nick Grimshaw. </p>
<p>Oh sweet fic requester, I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I was all set to write a simple PWP about Tomlinshaw hate sex but then a throwaway line about reaching the overhead bins on a plane made me write this epic au and it just spiralled out of control. I have thrown in some of the things you asked for in general across your prompts but I apologise if this behemoth is not what you were looking far. I also apologise to my air steward cousin who had no idea that my sudden interest in his job would result in this. I pray he never finds it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and the Purple Palace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smittenkittenbucky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenkittenbucky/gifts).



Heathrow is heaving, bursting at the seams with holiday travellers returning home after the New Year. Louis weaves expertly through the puddles of people, bracketed into little mounds by their bulging bags full of Christmas presents and bulky winter clothes. He pulls his little wheeler behind him, containing nothing but a change of clothes, his toiletries, and a few bags of American sweets for his sisters. He was at least able to see them at Christmas but New Year on top of that would have been a miracle. As it was he’d spent it alone, on the Navy Pier, watching the fireworks with thousands of others. Then, at about ten past midnight, he had wandered back to his hotel and turned in, ready for a New Year’s Day flight which would probably be delayed due to passengers being hungover and not hustling through security. Usually on a New Year flight the crew would hang out together, all away from home, none wanting to be alone. But this time everyone had seemed to have plans which didn’t include Louis, they had made arrangements with friends or family they knew in the city well in advance. Louis didn’t actually know anyone in Chicago, it wasn’t one of his usual routes. He had lain in bed with his phone for a while, scrolling through hundreds of ‘Happy New Year!’ statuses from six hours before. Kissing at midnight wasn’t a thing back home, but in Chicago he had had to push his way through row upon row of smooching couples to get back to his lonely hotel room and make himself some tea with strange tasting water.

Almost in a daze he goes through the motions of weaving through the airport, getting on the crew transport and checking in at the Premier Inn, Heathrow, AKA the Purple Palace, named by frequent flight crew visitors for its ubiquitous bright purple logo featuring a dozing crescent moon. In his room, he sits on the bed and stares at the wall, trying to ground himself. It’s 9pm in London, and Louis keeps London time wherever he is in the world, to stave off the lag. So he should go to the bar and have a drink, rather than turn in like he desperately wants to. He decides to keep his uniform on - maybe he’ll get chatted up if he does, and that will pass the time seeing as his Facebook status asking if any crew were in the Palace has turned up no-one. 

He quickly swaps his shirt for a clean one and goes into the bathroom, rubbing his caffeine roller under his eyes, adding a bit of BB cream to make him look slightly fresher than he is. Then he brushes his teeth and looks at himself in the mirror. The British Airways uniform is pretty sexy, unlike some of the others. Thank God he doesn’t have to wear the nasty orange shirts of easyJet, though he is a bit jealous of Air Canada’s burgundy cardigans. He has a simple, classic, dark blue suit which has been tailored for him. He has a slim waist and this means the length of the standard issue trousers is always too long and they have to be taken up. The very first thing he had done with his new uniform when it came had been to take it to his mum’s friend Brenda who is an ex-seamstress and a wizz with the sewing machine. As a result, his uniform fits him beautifully, perfect around his slimmer hips and close fitting without being tight. He knows he looks good in it, better than the other men anyway, whose suits are just standard issue and often don’t fit in the right places. He takes off his name badge but keeps the wings, although it’s not really allowed if you’ll be drinking. Whatever, he can always say he forgot, they’re a conversation starter. He removes the dark blue and red tie and undoes his top button to complete the ‘just stepped off the plane’ look, and heads for the bar. 

The bar is not that impressive, it looks like your standard Wetherspoons with a dodgy carpet and sticky wooden tables. Louis hovers at the entrance, wondering whether to go for a table or sit at the bar itself. Just as he’s glancing towards the bubbling optics and the shining taps, he sees a tall, dark haired man sat at one end of the bar with a just-pulled pint. There’s a seat two along from him, which is far enough away to not be too cosy, but not so far that he would give off a signal of wanting to be alone. Perfect. He makes his way over, putting a wiggle in his hips just in case this guy is a bust and someone else is watching. He doesn't necessarily want to get laid, probably too tired for that, but a quick blowy and a promise might be on the cards. He eases into the seat and tries to look bored, playing with the cocktail menu and making a show of being distracted. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the dark haired man looking at him and is just about to turn and catch him at it when…

“Alright Louis! Coming in or going out?”

He turns to his right, and there’s Billy Hughes, a chirpy Londoner who's been crew at BA for about three months. He’s alright but a bit chatty. He hasn’t got the memo that crew are knackered all the time and that you should approach one like you would a sleeping bear, quietly and gently with no sudden movements. He’s got close cropped blonde hair and big round blue eyes and looks like he might be in a tribute act to a boy band. 

“Alright Billy, coming in from O’Hare, what about you?”

“Going out to Bangers. Proper excited, it’s my first time. Hey, my girlfriend says there’s somewhere I could get her a fake handbag by some bloke… Mike Jacobs?”

Louis nods wearily. Shop talk is not what he wants right now, and his least favourite thing is being asked for travel tips. Every time he meets someone new that’s all he gets - can he recommend a restaurant in Nairobi? Does the Plaza in Singapore City have a kettle in it? Can you really buy cocaine in the chemists in Vietnam? (Yes, No, How the fuck should I know?)

“It’s Marc Jacobs ,and yeah, at MBK, ask at your hotel, they’ll know where it is. Just be discreet though, we’re not meant to bring fake stuff back, it’s illegal.”

Billy’s eyes widen. “Is it?! Maybe I shouldn’t bother then. I don’t want to get sacked, I love this job.”

You love it now, Louis thinks, but he just smiles and nods, not wanting to piss on Billy’s bonfire. “You’ll be fine, no-one will bother as long as you’re not bragging to everyone about it. Everyone does it. My little sisters are the best dressed in Doncaster.” He smiles a million dollar smile, wishing Billy would fuck off now so he can get his dick wet. 

“Good evening gents, what can I get you?” 

Louis looks up at the barman, he’s also tall and dark with his hair quiffed up at the front and his shirt open, showing off some chest. Nice. Must be new because Louis is on first name terms with all the staff here. Louis glances left but the other bloke has disappeared so he turns on his smile and decides to play the northern card on this one. “Just a pint of lager mate, whatever’s going that’s nice and not nine quid a pint.” 

The barman smirks. “Peroni alright?” 

“That’ll do me. Billy?”

Billy just shakes his head. “Better just have a coke, I’m out at six. Only just popped down for one.”

Thank fuck for that, thinks Louis as the handsome barman bends down for glasses and Louis gets to check out his arse. He puts a tenner on the counter and goes off to the toilet, it’s a little trick of his to see if he’s in. If he comes back and the barman’s fucked off then it was never going to happen, but he’s hanging around waiting for him then he might be okay for the night. Plus, this guy works here. Could be a regular thing. He’d had that with a receptionist a year or so ago, in the Radisson Edwardian, which was his favourite Heathrow hotel. They didn’t get to stay there very often because it was expensive, but he’d found himself lucky enough to have six stops there on the bounce because of plumbing issues at the Palace, and there had been a fit Argentinian who was happy to keep him company. Good times. 

When he comes back, the barman is still hovering, and Louis smirks to himself. He gets up on his stool and smiles at him, letting his gaze hang a little longer than it should. 

Billy pipes up then. “Hey Louis, how tall are you?”

Louis bristles a bit. “I’m five foot nine, why?”

The barman laughs. “He said you were five foot six! I was like, how can he reach the overhead lockers?”

Billy, the fucking traitor, laughs along. Well he would, the lanky fuck. “That’s why he looks so much better than me in that suit to be honest. I look like a potato, he looks like a model, but that’s because…”

“It’s a child’s size?” 

Now they’re both really starting to piss him off. He plasters on a smile and rolls his eyes. He looks at the guy’s name badge and clocks that he’s actually the bar manager. “What happened to Tony? Has he left?”

The barman nods, “Yeah he’s got another job, I’m the new Tony.”  
“Right, so why the interest in the height of cabin crew? Thinking of applying, Nick?”

Nick stutters a bit. “No, I’d be rubbish at that, I hate serving drinks as it is, I don’t want to push a trolley as well. What do they call male stewardesses anyway, can you be called a trolley dolly if you’re a boy?” 

“We mostly just get called poofs to be honest,” says Billy, and Louis has to bite his lip. This fucking straight boy who’s been in the job five minutes doesn’t get to take offence about being called a poof when he’s going home to his girlfriend. 

Nick seems less amused now. “Do you really get that?”

And Louis can’t keep his mouth shut, he’s too tired and too annoyed. “Yeah, we do. But I’ve travelled to every continent in the world multiple times, I’ve got friends all over the planet, I can speak four languages and I get free flights anywhere I wanna go, so I think on the balance of things it’s me who ends up with the last laugh.” He knocks back the rest of his drink, thinking it’s probably time to fuck today off completely.

“Can you really speak four languages?” Billy says, missing the entire fucking point. 

Louis says something in Arabic which roughly translates as ‘my dick in your mother’s ribcage’ and the idiot smiles in response. 

“That’s brilliant! What does that mean?”

He gives a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “It means I’m tired, I’m going to bed. See you round Billy.” He pointedly doesn’t even glance towards Nick the Dick and heads for his room, irritated. While he’s under the shower he muses on how upset he gets when people belittle his job, and make fun of his height. He’s had it his whole life, he’s got a high, reedy voice which he hates, and he’s toned but not muscled. Sometimes he hates his body, and his size. Wishes he was taller, just by a few inches so he couldn’t be so easily teased by people. He knows he shouldn’t rise to it, that he should just be thankful he looks as good as he does, but then he remembers how confident he felt going out to the bar in his uniform, and how someone so easily was able to burst his bubble. 

He starts to stroke himself a bit but loses interest, can’t be bothered. If he’s honest with himself he’s disappointed in how it went with that barman precisely because he is tall, and his hands are big. Of all the kinks for a smaller man to have, being a size queen is the worst, because blokes always think it means you want to play up physical differences, and he doesn’t. Just once he’d like to be able to show appreciation for a nice, big, thick cock without the owner trying to build on it with awful sex talk like “Oh yeah, you like that little boy, it’ll split you open” and other such charming utterances. If he wants to go all Freud on himself, he’d say that it’s the physical ability to take it easily that he likes, not the challenge. He might be only just average height, but he’s not a skinny little twink who’s going to squeal at anything thicker than a hot dog. 

The barman has nice eyes, he thinks as he towels himself off. Shame. But he knows he’s too proud to go chasing after Nick now, and by the looks of it the guy’s not interested - maybe he’s not even gay, but he did seem a little bit bothered about the ‘poof’ comment. He climbs into bed and sets his alarm so he gets a good night’s sleep but doesn’t miss breakfast. Another two days off now, before he’s back down here. Enough time to forget about Nick and cast his eye over some other prospects. He drifts off to sleep and dreams about airports and hotel rooms. Like always. 

**

Staff illnesses and some shortages on short haul means it’s almost a month before Louis makes it back to the Premier Inn. As the violet-tinged light from the sign on the Palace casts its glow over Louis’s tired face he has to acknowledge that he still hasn’t stopped thinking about Nick. Louis knows the problem, it’s that Nick basically fucked him off, and that makes him more of a challenge. Add to that the physical attribute that Louis is certain is hiding under those ugly uniform trousers and the fact that he liked Nick’s general demeanour before he became a raging arsehole, and there’s still a little flame alight for the gangly prick. 

Louis pointedly ignores the bar area as he checks in, and goes straight to his room. He has nothing to prove with the uniform now so he strips it off, has a quick shower and a strategic wank so he doesn’t seem desperate, and pulls on his jeans, Vans, and a plain grey tshirt which is soft and a bit too big. It shows off his collar bones, and makes him look like he’s not trying too hard. He decides to play it cool, sit at a table and just smoulder. He might have to play the long game, he’s quite looking forward to maybe sampling the goods and then fucking Nick off in the ultimate act of revenge. 

Nick is there but he’s busy with another customer, so Louis gets his pint from another bartender and picks a table where he has a clear line of sight with the bar. Then he sits in a nonchalant slouch and plays with his phone, ignoring the bar completely. Every now and then he hears Nick laugh and desperately wants to look up but manages to control himself. He refreshes Facebook a thousand times, plays a few games, then resorts to looking at his photo album. He’s just becoming engrossed in some night out pics which he doesn’t even remember taking when a full pint of Peroni is plonked in front of him and he jerks his head up in surprise. Nick is looking down at him, a bit sheepishly.

“It’s on the house. Peroni’s right isn’t it?”

Louis nods. “What’s the occasion?”

Nick bites his lip and it’s adorable, but Louis mentally slaps himself, reminding the angel on his shoulder that this is now about sex and then cold revenge, not hearts and flowers. “I feel like, I might have been a bit rude last time, and I didn’t mean it, I just…. I just didn’t think. Anyway, won’t you come and sit at the bar? I’m lonely.” He pouts dramatically and Louis huffs out a pitying laugh. He makes a point of looking around him, as if he’s deciding if there’s anyone better, before he shrugs and gets up.

Nick awkwardly walks back behind the bar and comes over to the far end where Louis has chosen to perch. There’s no-one else sitting at the bar now and not many in the room itself - a Tuesday is apparently not a big night at a distinctly average airport hotel. “Your mate not with you tonight?”

Louis shrugs. “No idea where he is. I wouldn’t call him a mate, we just work for the same company. Only been on one flight with him.”

Nick nods, clearly not bothered about Billy’s currently whereabouts. “Where’ve you just been? Or is that boring? Sorry, I bet that’s really boring, I’d hate it if someone asked me what time I’d done the bottling up.”

Louis smiles despite himself. It feels like Nick’s trying hard, and he likes it. He almost feels like giving him a break, but not yet. “It is boring, because when I tell people they either tell me they’ve been there and start talking about it, or they say they’d like to go and want to know what it’s like. I don’t really have any interest in either one of those conversations.”

To Louis’ surprise, Nick seems to love this. He has a great, expressive face which just lights up like he knows exactly what Louis is talking about. “Totally, I hate telling anyone where I’m going on holiday to be honest because they always say “Oh, you should go to this bar, tell Mario I sent you and you might get a free sambuca”. I like exploring, I don’t want recommendations. I want to be stuck in some dive which is like, owned by the Mafia or where they’re really shocked you’ve even come in because they haven’t had a customer for about three years.”

“Exactly! I know a few places like that. I don’t tell anyone about them in case they end up stabbed or something. Don’t want the responsibility.”

Nick smiles an absolutely radiant smile, as if Louis has just said the most profound and humorous thing ever. Their eyes meet and Louis feels that chill, that promise you get from the right moment of eye contact. Nick turns his head towards a customer that’s just appeared at the bar. “I’ll just serve this guy and then I’ll think of some other questions you should never ask cabin crew.” He winks and turns away and Louis silently threatens the angel on his shoulder to take the hearts out of his eyes. 

He can’t fall like this, not for someone he’s going to see here on a regular basis. It can just be sex, that’s all. All this charm can only be to get Louis in bed and then it will be awkward nods and active avoidance. It’s happened before, Louis’ been disappointed before. He thinks back to Harry, the utterly charming frequent First Class flyer who had slipped him his hotel room number while disembarking one day, and with whom Louis had spent five or six nights over the course of six months, which for him was almost a relationship. He’d only been in First because he had trained for it and someone else was off sick, so he’s used the excuse of serendipity to call the number, even though it could have meant his job. While he was with Harry, he was made to feel like he was the only man on Earth. Harry looked at him like he was special, treated him like royalty, bought him expensive presents and whispered such platitudes in his ear that Louis was almost certain he was going to get a life changing proposal some time soon. Maybe to live with him in New York, or LA, or come and meet his family in the sleepy little Cheshire village where Harry had bought the only mansion. 

The last time they had been together they were lying in the ridiculous king sized bed at London Edition, naked and spent, when Harry got a text and rolled his eyes at it. “Some guy I shagged in New York last week keeps texting me.” He’d put the phone down then and crawled down inside the bed to suck Louis off. Maybe it was some minute change in Louis’ demeanour, some tiny little tell that he hadn’t even noticed he was giving, but Harry never called him again. He’d wondered at the time whether someone like Harry, who has anyone he wants, in multiple locations, had an in-built sensor for when a casual lay was having feelings for him. Louis had given himself a stern talking to after that, and not allowed himself the indulgence of crying. He still had every single thing Harry had bought him, the silk ties, the beats headphones, an unopened bottle of limited edition Stoli Elit which was worth about £1000. Keeping the payment he got for his ‘services’ made him remember what he had been to Harry. 

No, it isn’t going to happen again. This time Louis will be the one doing the heartbreaking, if Nick tries to make this something it isn’t. He watches as his quarry strides back towards him and feels a little jolt of power. 

“So, I’ve thought of another annoying question to ask you” Nick leans over the bar and cups his head in his hands, and Louis feels like he knows what’s coming. “Have you ever joined the Mile High club?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “No, Nick, I’ve never joined the Mile High club.”

Nick slaps his hands on the bar dramatically. “Why not!? Surely that’s one of the perks.”

Louis smiles as he sips his drink, enjoying the attention on him. “Because I’m a professional! I’m not just there to serve drinks and get sick bags, I’m there so that if anything goes wrong I can help get that plane evacuated in ninety seconds. I’ve saved a life you know!”

“Have you?” Nick seems interested and Louis basks in it. 

“Yeah, I gave someone CPR when they had a heart attack. Old guy, in his sixties. I saved his life, that’s what I’m there for. What if I’d have been bent over a bathroom sink when that happened?”

Nick looks half-chastised and half-impressed. “You’re a hero.” Then he leans over again and bounces his eyebrows “But you’d be the one bent over would you?”

Louis makes a show of being embarrassed though he’s enjoying the flirting, and Nick laughs his head off. 

“Sorry, I’m pretty sure there’s no room in those airline toilets anyway, they’re no fun.”

Louis shakes his head. “There’s really not. It’s the worst workplace to have some casual sex. Not like if you worked at say, oh, I don’t know...A hotel.”

Now it’s Nick’s turn to be embarrassed and Louis just loves it. “But I bet you’re not allowed to stay here are you? Do you have an exchange programme with the Travelodge?”

Nick’s face lights up. “That’s an amazing idea! No, we’re not allowed to drink in the bar, or go into a guest’s room. Not even when it’s our day off.”

“Shame.” Louis pulls out his best look, the smouldering one with all the eyelashes. “Because it’s gonna be cold tonight and I was looking for someone to keep me warm.”

Nick looks like he’s either going to run away or come in his pants right there. “Er..Well. The thing is… Even if we did get into someone’s room, we’d get stuck here afterwards because we all live in Central London and the er.. public transport stops and it costs like, a small fortune to get back in a cab. So we’re actually the worst people to have illicit sex with because we have to stay in that room all night, or risk getting caught.”

Louis nods, philosophically. “To me that just means a nice warm body all through the night and the possibility of a wake-up shag, or at least a good morning blow job.” He sips on his drink like he’s just made a comment about the weather.

Nick glances around nervously and then stares at the ground. “Is it nice, your room? Ground floor?”

“Yeah, 119. Crew usually refuse to stay in 119 because it’s 911 backwards. Bad luck.” That’s total bollocks but at least now Nick won’t forget his room number. He gets up, stretches, and picks his phone up off the bar. “Working late tonight?”

Nick shakes his head. “No, half an hour.”

Louis just puts up his hand and turns away, calling back a casual ‘Night then’ and using that walk that makes his ass wiggle as he walks back to his room. 

Once inside he checks the clock. Five to midnight. He jumps in the shower, brushes his teeth, then pulls his tshirt and boxers back on, laying on the bed. He contemplates having a cup of tea but it’s not very sexy to have the kettle on the go when you’re trying to seduce someone. He’s about 95% sure that Nick will be knocking on his door soon, but there’s still that 5% doubt niggling at him. If Nick doesn't come, he’s out. He’s giving up on this one. There’s no way you can put yourself out there like that and then go back for more if it doesn’t work. He wants to be the one in control, not the one chasing. He lies there daydreaming about what Nick looks like naked when there’s a knock at the door and he jumps up like lightning, forgetting all about being aloof.

Nick ducks inside quickly and Louis is on him in seconds. Nick’s mouth is wide and hot and wet and Louis can’t help but moan as he gets to taste him. Nick has one hand in Louis’ hair and one on his arse and Louis loves that he can do that without even a stretch. He surges into Nick, pressing their bodies together so that Nick can feel how hard he is. Not that Louis is keen to step things up - he could kiss Nick forever. It’s affection kissing, he thinks as he feels Nick’s fingers card through his hair. This isn’t like pre-sex urgency, it’s just like kissing is all they’re going to do. As that realisation crosses Louis’ mind he pulls away and yanks off his shirt, throwing it in the corner. Nick is still flush against the wall, looking a little shellshocked, so Louis takes his hands and leads him over to the bed, pulling him down. Louis loves the feeling of Nick’s weight on him, his larger frame enveloping Louis as they carry on grinding against each other. He loves the desperate, wet sounds which Nick is making as he kisses him urgently, his lips, his neck ,his cheeks. Again Louis has to move things on, he’s surprised by how intimate this feels, after barely two conversations. He pushes up on Nick’s shoulders and starts unbuttoning his shirt. Nick quickly takes the hint and jumps off the bed, stripping off. Louis just watches, waiting to see what Nick has got for him. After he pulls off his boxers, Nick just stands there, stroking himself, already hard. He’s got a good, thick, cock maybe nearly seven inches and Louis can’t mask his delight, or believe his luck. He’s learned from experience that height is not necessarily a good indication of what someone is packing, but Nick is certainly as advertised. 

Nick raises his eyebrows. “Someone likes what they see.”

Louis doesn’t bother denying it, just beckons him over. Nick misunderstands and straddles his waist so Louis just beckons again, and taps his lips. Nick’s eyes darken, he takes his dick in hand and moves up Louis’ body, placing the tip on Louis’ bottom lip. Louis lets it sit there for a second, letting his tongue dart out to taste until Nick can’t take it anymore and starts to slowly push in. He seems hesitant, so Louis closes his eyes and starts to moan obscenely around Nick’s cock. the encouragement works and soon Nick is thrusting into him. Louis can’t take all of him in this position, but he can still feel Nick’s thighs trembling and his thrusts starting to get more and more erratic. Louis pushes his tongue up and moves his head as much as the position will allow and soon Nick is making urgent, gutteral moans.

“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come.”

Louis just taps his cheek and Nick moans again and pulls out of Louis’ mouth with a pop, barely a second before coming in long streaks across Louis’ face. Louis licks his lips, bringing a finger up to carry some of the mess into his mouth and swallow it. It’s a totally crap porno move that he would never normally pull, but he wants Nick to crave him, become obsessed with him, so that when he doesn’t get Louis’ body anymore he’ll feel the loss. 

Suddenly Nick jumps up and goes to the bathroom, Louis hears the tap and sure enough, he comes back with a damp flannel, handing it off with almost a shamefaced expression. Louis just sits up and wipes his face off with as much allure as he can, considering. Nick lies on his side, gazing up at Louis with those wide, expressive eyes. “I haven’t erm, done that before, I wouldn’t normally...I mean was that okay?”

Louis smiles. “I asked you to. I like it.” And he does, but it’s not normally a first time thing. It’s something he usually only asks for once he’s sure someone has at least a modicum of respect for him. But Nick had been looking at him like he was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. 

Nick is glancing down at Louis’ erection. “Do you want me to erm…?”

Christ, but Nick seems nervous. Louis wonders if he’s pushed too far seeing as they were idly flirtin only an hour ago. But, if he wants Nick in the palm of his hand, he has to take a risk. He leans into Nick’s ear, as if he’s imparting a secret. “What I’d really like, is for you to get me ready to take that nice big dick of yours.”

Nick exhales hard and Louis looks down to see if he’s getting stiff. He trails a finger over Nick’s steadily fattening cock and Nick honest to God shivers. Louis decides to be cruel and lays on his stomach, looking at Nick and jerking his head as if to say ‘get on with it’. “There’s lube on the bedside table.”

Louis turns his head away and closes his eyes. He’s quite hard now but he wants to drag this out, make Nick work for it. He hears the creak in the floorboards as Nick gets up to grab the lube, then there are two, large, warm hands moving down his sides and urging his hips up. He pulls himself onto all fours and folds a pillow into his bent arms, raising his ass into the air. Nick’s big hands are now ever so gently pulling his cheeks apart, and before Louis knows what’s happening there’s a hot breath on his hole and then the sensation of a large, hot, wet tongue opening him up. He lets out a surprised, high pitched moan and buries his head in the pillow as Nick works on him relentlessly. He can feel lips, tongue, fingertips pressing into his cheeks every now and then a slight graze of teeth which sends sparks flying up his spine. He surges back to meet Nick’s mouth lets forth a litany of obscenities into the pillow. God, he wants it now. He manages to lift his head from the pillow and shout out “Please fuck me, come on” Before the sensation overwhelms him again and he has to force his head back down into the relief of the pillow. For a moment, there’s nothing, then the tickle of lube being squeezed onto his skin and the perfect pressure of a long finger stretching him. Nick is quick about it, not wasting too much time when it’s clear that Louis is desperate. Louis feels the dull burn of being entered and sobs as Nick slowly but surely bottoms out in him and starts fucking him in earnest, the drag exquisite as Louis moans shamelessly into the pillow. Christ, this is exactly what he wanted, what he needed. It’s been too long since he was fucked like this, by someone who could really go to town on him, handle him like Nick is, one hand firm and strong on his hip and the other stead between his shoulder blades, tugging gently at the hair that’s long enough to fall between his fingers. 

Nick’s thrusts lose their rhythm and his hand finds its way to Louis’ solid, dripping cock. With only a few firm strokes Louis is coming hard and Nick stills as he tenses around him. It takes a few more juts of Nick’s hips before Louis feels Nick’s stubby fingernails dig into his hips and the man shudder and moan with relief. Louis’s back suddenly starts to scream and he wriggles as Nick pulls out and goes straight into the bathroom. Louis gingerly rolls onto his back, still panting, sweat beginning to cool on his body. He hears the bin snap shut and realises he never even thought about a condom until Nick was inside him. Stupid, but he was just too desperate for it. Good thing Nick was more careful. 

When Nick emerges from the bathroom he looks hesitant until Louis gets under the covers and pats the other side of the bed. “Come and lie down before you fall down.”

Nick smiles, his face still flushed, and climbs in gingerly, rolling onto his side and placing a gentle hand on Louis’ stomach as he kisses him on the cheek. “That was pretty fucking good.” he says, laughing softly.

Louis can’t help but roll on top of him and kiss him, humming as he feels Nick’s big hands back where he likes them on the rapidly cooling skin of Louis’ back. They kiss languidly for a few minutes, Louis having to start again every time he stops. Nick’s lips are soft, his body’s still warm and smelling of sweat and stale cologne and it’s intoxicating. Only when Louis’ shoulder starts to ache from holding himself over Nick does he move to his side of the bed. “So you’ll be here in the morning then? Won’t you get caught leaving?”

There’s an uncomfortable silence before Nick coughs and says. “I can go if you want, it’s not too late, I might still catch a night bus.”

“No, I don’t want you to go. Just don’t want you to get in trouble. I could smuggle you out in my wheeler maybe?” He edges into Nick’s side and waits until an arm lifts and reaches behind him before he settles his cheek on Nick’s chest and feels the rumble of soft laughter.

“I’ll be fine, I know the day manager who’s on tomorrow, she’s not gonna dob me in unless I make it obvious.” 

Louis whispers ‘good’, then closes his eyes. He hears Nick turn off the lamp and falls asleep being gently rocked by the rise and fall of his chest.

When Louis wakes up, he’s on his back and Nick’s head is next to his on the pillow, his long arm draped over his chest. It feels nice there, warm and solid and comforting. It’s been a while since he’s woken up like this, a while since someone has stayed. He idly wonders how long it will be before he’s able to have something like this, to wake up with the same person every day. It’s not possible while you’re cabin crew, but there might be a time, if he can convince someone to stick around long enough. He might take a land job, though he’s qualified for fuck all else. Maybe he could get a job as a trainer or something. Teach young recruits the evacuation routine, or how to file your paperwork. Sounds dull, but it might enable him to have a real life, a real relationship. He considers how last night he was telling himself to treat Nick mean and keep him keen, and now he’s lying here thinking about settling down. He always does this, always lets those thoughts creep in. Nick would think he was deranged if he knew what he was thinking. He’ll probably bolt as soon as he wakes up and Louis will never see him again. May as well get it over with. 

He rolls onto his side, waking Nick in the process. He looks so cute waking up, like a confused baby. He gently opens his eyes and blinks heavily at Louis before groaning and snuggling back into him. “What time’s it?” he mumbles.

Louis grabs for his phone. “It’s ten past nine. You got anywhere to be or do you want breakfast?”

“Mmm, not allowed. Get seen.” He nuzzles at Louis’ neck before rolling onto his back and trying to pull Louis with him. They gently play fight for a minute, tugging at each others’ limbs before Louis succumbs and lies on top of Nick, holding his arms above his head and kissing him. So much for Nick bolting. 

“I can go and get something, bring it back, they always let me.” 

“Mmm, okay.” Nick doesn’t sound particularly bothered about food but Louis is getting hungry and he might need his energy for round two. He quickly jumps out of bed and starts pulling on clothes, just enough to get him to the dining room and back without being arrested. He puts on his most dazzling smile for Halima and she gives him a paper bag to take back croissants with jam and butter, bananas and some pain au chocolate, and two takeaway cups of tea. He realises when he gets back to the room that he hasn’t got any hands free to use his keycard so he just starts kicking the door until Nick answers tentatively, his quiff wilting as he rubs his fingers through it.

“I got pastries and fruit, didn’t fancy bringing back fried eggs in a bag. Do you have sugar in your tea? Oh I hope I’ve got sugar here, I didn’t check. I put milk in your tea is that okay?” Louis stops rambling when no answer comes and sees Nick sitting in the middle of the bed with an adoring look on his face. “What?”

“You can take the boy out of the cabin but you can’t take the cabin crew out of the boy can you? You don’t have to serve me you know.”

Louis flushes, he hadn’t even realised he was doing it. “I was just being polite, you’re a guest in my executive suite and some of us have manners. So do you want milk or what?”

Nick nods and Louis hands over one of the takeaway cups. He brings the pastries to the bedside tables and then strips off and gets into bed in just his underwear, handing Nick a pain au chocolat.

“I love hotels, you can eat pastry in bed and someone else has to clean up.”

Nick laughs. “I think pastry is the least of their worries if they’re cleaning this bed.” 

Louis sprays crumbs everywhere as he tries to keep from laughing, which makes Nick laugh, and soon the two of them are shaking, trying to chew and laugh at the same. The laughter gets a grip of Louis and tears spring into his eyes as he tries to calm down. This just seems to make Nick worse and it takes them a good few minutes before they’re both back to normal. Then Louis says “Just don’t get any chocolate on the sheets” and they’re both off again, Nick emitting strange squeaks as he tries to laugh with his mouth full of pastry. 

When they’ve settled down, drunk their tea and finished off the croissants, Nick says the words Louis has been dreading. “Don’t you have to check out soon?” 

Louis doesn’t want to check out. He’s checked out of his hotel hundreds of times but this time it’s not just dropping his key card into the perspex box and waving at the receptionist, it’s leaving behind something he’s enjoying too much. He wants to stay here the rest of the day, laughing with Nick, kissing with Nicking, fucking with Nick. He’s sure that when their little bubble bursts, they won’t ever be like this again. He straddles Nick and lazily strokes his hair. “Suppose so. We’ve got forty-five minutes.”

Nick looks straight at him with those nice chocolate-brown eyes and says “Shower?”

Louis grins and nods, climbing off Nick’s lap and walking away. He pulls his boxers down, giving Nick a nice view of his arse and strolls into the bathroom. Without looking back he turns on the shower and lets it warm up before he steps in. He hears the door close behind him and then Nick’s flush against his back, kissing his neck and reaching round to stroke him to hardness. Louis just stands there, letting him do what he wants. He tips his head back and Nick rubs his cheek against Louis’ while he wanks him slowly, then puts his lips back on his neck.

“No lovebites, I’ll get disciplined.” 

Nick gives a dirty laugh. “I’ll discipline you myself if you want, save them the trouble.” Nevertheless he moves to kiss the edge of Louis’ mouth and concentrates on bringing him off with long, firm strokes, rubbing his thumb over the tip of Louis’ cock. By the time Louis comes all over the tiles his face is red from the heat of the shower and he turns round and drops straight to his knees, knowing this time he can show off his deep throating skills. He takes his time, anchoring himself with his left hand on Nick’s hip and using his right to stroke at his balls. He takes in just a few inches and enjoys Nick’s little moans before he opens up his throat and takes him all the way in. Nick moans “Oh fuck, Oh fuck” and Louis tries not to react in case he gags. Somehow it always comes as a shock to guys that he can do this, but there’s no point in being a size queen if you can’t comfortably swallow anything bigger than five inches. He moves both hands to grip at Nick’s hips now, controlling the thrusts and listening for the tell tale rise in the pitch of Nick’s breathy moans. When he hears it, he hollows his cheeks and drops his tongue and seconds later Nick is coming hard down the back of his throat. Louis holds his breath and then gulps before sitting back on his haunches and looking up innocently at Nick. 

Nick is holding onto the shower walls for dear life. He turns off the spray then gets to his knees in the bath and takes Louis’ head in his hands, kissing him like his life depends on it. “You’re fucking incredible.” he manages before running his hands through his wet hair and using his thumb to clean a little spot of come from Louis’ cheek. Nick looks pretty with his eyelashes wet and Louis can’t help but kiss him again, although his knees are killing him. Eventually he pulls himself up on shaky legs and gingerly gets out of the bath. Nick follows and envelopes him in a white bath sheet which doesn’t quite cover Louis’ bum, rubbing at his skin gently while they cuddle. 

Louis can’t quite get his head around the sudden jumps between blazing hot sex and sweet affection. Maybe this is just Nick’s thing, maybe Louis should just enjoy it and be thankful he didn’t just nut and run like so many of his other conquests. He pulls Nick in for another kiss and the towel ends up on the floor. 

It’s twenty minutes before they both make it out of the bathroom, Louis quickly gathering up his toothbrush, toothpaste and bb cream. (“It’s a cabin crew essential” Louis protests when Nick raises his eyebrows.) Nick sits in the armchair while Louis shoves stuff into his wheeler and awkwardly avoids his gaze. They have to say a goodbye soon, and he doesn’t know what kind of goodbye it will be. He muses that if Nick wasn’t that interested in seeing him again he wouldn’t still be sat here, he’d be out the door and on the hotel hoppa without a backwards glance. He zips up the case and walks over to Nick with trepidation. “So, I have to check out now.” 

Nick stands and takes Louis’ hand loosely in his. “So, when will you be back, do you think?”

Louis doesn’t know how to react so he decides to take a risk, knowing that the devil on his shoulder might prod him with a tiny pitchfork for being such a lovesick idiot. “I’ll be back next week, going to Kuala Lumpur.” 

Nick strokes his thumb over Louis hand. “Maybe I’ll see you next week then, if you don’t get a better offer…” he grins and Louis smiles back shyly.

“Sure. Okay.” He reaches up and kisses Nick until his watch beeps to tell him it’s 12 noon. They silently head for the door and Louis only grasps the handle when Nick says “Wait..Maybe I should give you my number, just in case, you know, you get bored in... Indonesia?”

Louis smiles at him. “Malaysia. And yeah, okay.” They swap numbers and make their way out of the room, Nick leaving a cheeky peck on Louis’ cheek as he heads the wrong way down the corridor to the staff exit. Louis stares after him for a minute then drags his case through to reception and drops the keycard in its perspex box. There’s a hotel hoppa just pulling in so he jogs to catch it, and settles for the ten minute ride, staring towards the back of the hotel in case Nick manages to make this bus. After a minute or so the hoppa is full of people, cases everywhere and children chattering and crying. Louis looks back at the hotel wistfully as the driver pulls away. 

\-----  
Kuala Lumpur is hot and boring. Louis is only spending one night there so he doesn’t bother going far, instead getting some rojak mamak from the Kopi Time at the airport and going straight to the hotel. When he’s too full to move far he grabs his phone and opens whatsapp. He replies to a few messages, then clicks on contacts. Nick is there, but it’s 2pm in London, so he might be at work. He decides to try anyway.

_I’m bored - entertain me_

He throws the phone down on the bed and stretches out like a starfish. This is the non-glamorous part of the job, alone and bored, seven thousand miles from home, waiting for someone to connect with him. His eyes start to droop just as whatsapp goes off. He scrambles for the phone and smiles to himself when he sees the message

_feel so sorry 4 u lyin there in paradise while im stuck ere. boo._

Not paradise mate, boring hotel, and no-one to keep me company

He didn’t mean for this to turn into sexting but he’s pretty up for it. He thinks it would be nice to have something to read back at a later date, when the time difference isn’t so manageable. 

_oh aye, u not pulled then?_

Nah, still feeling it from last week lol

stop u’ll make me blush babe

Louis likes the epithet, he likes being Nick’s babe, wants Nick to whisper it to him the next time they’re fucking. 

_Wish you were here_

Alright judith chalmers! wish i was there too

What would you do if you were? 

There’s an excruciating wait before Nick messages back, so much so that Louis thinks he’s wrecked everything. He’s about to apologise and blame jetlag when whatsapp pings again.

_i’d take it a bit slower this time, really make you beg for it_

Fuck. Louis kicks off his jogging bottoms so he’s naked on the king sized bed and hopes Nick’s messages won’t always be this far apart.

_I don’t mind begging as long as you’ll give me what I want_

i know you want it, you like it don’t you? like them big

yeah

tho id probably make you ride me this time, make you do all the work

Louis starts stroking himself. He wants to hear Nick’s voice but he knows he can’t, so he conjures it up in his head, Nick saying all these filthy things to him in that deep, sexy voice.

_You can have me any way you want me_

as long as i cn see your pretty face when you come im happy

are you touching urself?

Yep. Where are you?

break room, cant risk it. have to go back work with a massive hard on

Stay on with me til i come, pls

anything for you, wish i could be sucking u right now, wanted a taste last week n didnt get one

You can taste all of me, want you so bad right now

im gonna suck u until u c stars babe, then flip you over n eat u out so u can ride my big cock like u want 2

Louis spills into his hand imagining Nick’s voice in his ear talking about his cock. 

_Fuck, just came so hard_

glad 2 hear it babe, as 4 me i have to go back to fucking work now! blue balls until 5 :-(

Make it up to you tomorrow night x x x 

You better x x have fun x x x x

Louis lays back on the bed. He is so fucked. 

\---

On the flight back he gets stuck on the worst crew seat on the plane, a jump seat directly facing the economy cabin, affectionately nicknamed a Sharon Stone because the stewardesses have to watch how they cross their legs when they sit on it. There’s no back to the seat so it’s just the cold hard plastic of the cabin wall, and Louis’ back hurts as soon as he sits down. He manages to take a few ibuprofen and stretch a little bit but still, by the time he gets off the crew transport at the Purple Palace he’s getting twinges all down his back everytime he moves. Undeterred he searches for Nick when he comes through the door and is pleased to see that he’s not the only one waiting for their reunion. As soon as the automatic doors swoosh open Nick’s head pops up like a meerkat’s and he smiles wide when he sees Louis. Louis mouths ‘Peroni’ and Nick gives him the thumbs up, going straight to the pump. 

He checks in and gets a second floor room, strips off as quickly as he can and has a shower, rinsing off hours of plane grime. He’s in the bar ten minutes later, hair still wet and skin shining, taking a seat at the end of the bar and smiling when he sees Nick fidgeting while he tries to get rid of a chatty customer. 

Eventually he comes wandering over with Louis’ pint of Peroni, topping it up to counteract the flatness. “Nice pint of lager for the gentleman, on the house of course, good to have you back with us Mr Tomlinson.”

Louis laughs. “My pleasure, Nick is it?” He makes a show of looking at the name badge. “You’re doing a bang up job today, by the way, excellent service.”

Nick opens his mouth to reply but then sees another customer at the end of the bar. “Back in a sec.”

Louis watches the easy way that Nick chats to people. This particular customer is young, maybe 19 or 20. He’s hot too, short blond hair and quite big arms, shown off in a tight white tshirt. Nick is flirting with him a bit but rather than making Louis feel jealous, it curiously makes him feel more secure, like Nick would never do this in front of him if it meant anything. He hands the blond guy’s change to him and walks straight back over, the half-fake smile falling from his face to leave just a look of comfortable familiarity. Louis likes it. 

“So, how was your flight, Sir?”

“Hell on my back actually.” Louis stretches a little and hears a click.

Nick’s face falls. “Oh right. Are you okay?”

He looks like he might cry, and Louis does not like that look on him. “Yeah! No, it’s not that bad, just a bit achey. I just think I need to maybe...lie down.” He bounces his eyebrows and relief spreads across Nick’s face,

“Right, yeah I think you should do that. Get nice and flat on your back for a good few hours.” He gives Louis an evil smile and glances around. “So, ground floor room Sir, or higher up?”

“215. It’s nice actually, but no bath just a shower, bit small.”

“I’m sure you’ll make the most of it.”

Louis looks at the ‘bar manager’ on Nick’s badge curiously. “Can I ask you something? Have you been working in bars a while if you’ve got to be a manager so young?”

Nick laughs. “I’m not young, I’m 31! I haven’t always worked in bars, just the last few years. I don’t wanna sound like I’m in High Fidelity or anything but it’s music I’m really into. I’d like to a have a good music venue slash bar so I’m trying to get some good experience and then...I don’t know...Look for a business partner and open my own place? That’s a bit of pie in the sky though. I’d be happy managing a decent venue.”

They chat for a bit about their favourite London venues before Louis starts to notice the twinge in his back again.He drains the rest of his drink and gets up. “Nice talking to you Nicholas, make sure to get your head down nice and early.” He winks theatrically and heads off to his room. When he’s just at the lift he gets a text from Nick. 

_Cant get off for another hour :-(_

Work i mean lol

well both

Louis smiles to himself and texts back. _Worth the wait I’m sure. 215, don’t forget x x_

Once in the room again he makes himself a tea using bottled water for a little treat. The hard water in the South always makes his tea taste awful when it comes out of the tap. He strips to his boxers and tshirt and messes around on Facebook for a while then lies flat on his back like Nick suggested. By the time Nick knocks on his door he’s drifted off to sleep and it takes a minute for him to be roused by the covert tapping. He gets up slowly and looks at Nick through the spyhole. He’s glancing left and right nervously and Louis could be cruel and leave him there for a minute but he decides he doesn’t want to risk his fuck buddy getting sacked and opens the door. 

Unlike last time they don’t just pounce on each other. Nick draws him into a full body hug and strokes those big hands up and down Louis’ back, face buried in his hair. “Glad you’re back”. He says softly, and leans in for a kiss. It’s nice and sweet this time, slow and savoured. Louis can smell his cologne, JPG for men if he’s not mistaken, and taste sweetness in his mouth like lemonade. 

Nick breaks the kiss and pulls Louis towards the bed by the hand. He lets Louis settle on his back before stripping and laying over him, kissing him again and touching him through his boxers. Louis moans softly into Nick’s mouth and moves to push his underwear off, scrabbling to get them down his legs with the weight of Nick on top of him. When they’re both naked, Nick moves down and licks a stripe up Louis’ already hard cock. He keeps licking, rolling Louis’ balls in his hand gently and finally sucking on the tip and sinking down to take him in all the way. Louis just sighs and relaxes into the bed, his leg giving the odd involuntary kick when Nick sucks him just right. He moves his hands to tangle in Nick’s hair, his touches meant to be just on the edge between caresses and tugs. Nick’s moaning now too, bobbing his head and swallowing around him, and Louis comes with hardly any warning. Nick doesn’t even cough, just swallows and carries on sucking as Louis starts to go soft. It feels amazing and overwhelming all at once and eventually Louis has to tap Nick’s shoulder to stop him. The bed dips as Nick moves back up to kiss him, and he tastes the bitterness on his tongue. They kiss until Nick is rock hard and starting to rut against Louis’ leg at which point Louis gives him a reticent look. “I know I said I’d ride you, but my back’s not up to it, I don’t think.” 

Nick just smiles and shakes his head. “We don’t have to fuck, we could just...do other stuff.”

Louis shakes his head so fiercely it makes his back twinge. “No, I want to, just...I’ll be on my back if it’s all the same to you.”

Nick glances up at the lube and condoms on the side and grabs them. He kisses Louis hard then lubes up his long fingers as Louis hitches up his legs to give him access. Through every touch, every twist and stroke of his fingers, Nick looks into Louis’ eyes and it’s almost too much. Whenever Louis closes his eyes to get out of the intensity of Nick’s gaze the man nuzzles him, kisses his cheek or his forehead. When Louis lets him know he’s ready, he kisses him deeply one more time, then, ever so gently, moves between his legs and pushes in. Louis can take it faster, but the slow burn is intoxicating. When he opens his eyes, Nick is staring right at him, little moans caught in his throat and lips slightly parted as he moves. He can’t look into Nick’s eyes, and can’t look away, so he wraps his arms around him and kisses him. He’s exhausted, and it’s letting him relax more than he usually would be able to. He lies back and breathes deep, feels the friction and ignores any twitch from his own arousal which might Nick stop and start touching him when all he wants to do is lay back and be taken. Suddenly there’s a puff of hot breath on his ear and Nick is whispering to him “Fuck, fuck. You’re so beautiful, so fucking beautiful.” 

Louis just keeps his eyes shut and stays quiet. He said beautiful, and this isn’t in the script. Usually, with a casual fuck, you might hear ‘you’re fit’, or ‘you’re sexy’, but not ‘beautiful’. He lets his hands travel down Nick’s back, urging him on, and tries to rock back onto Nick’s cock with the rhythm of his hips. Louis is hard now, and Nick is so close to the sweet spot. He wriggles, chasing it, and after a few seconds he cries out as Nick hits it, and hits it, and hits it. His eyes are screwed shut, but when Nick urgently whispers ‘Louis, Louis’, he opens them and looks straight at him, just as they both come. They lie stuck in position before Nick comes to his senses and pulls out. Louis just closes his eyes and the next thing he knows the room is dark and he’s being cleaned off again with a damp flannel, ever so gently as if Nick doesn't want to wake him. 

They don’t speak. Nick just crawls in beside him and kisses him on the cheek, leaving his lips there for a good few seconds before he falls onto his back. Louis wants to kiss him back but doesn’t feel like he can move, and then the moment passes. In the silence of the dark room he wonders how they managed to get to this point so quickly, because this is not fuck buddy sex. It’s never been fuck buddy sex. He muses on how they know barely anything about each other, how he’s not even really himself around Nick. Aside from the first night they met, he hasn’t seen Louis’ sharp edges, his sarcasm and bite, the little arguments he picks, the overreactions to the smallest slights. He hasn’t seen the worst of Louis. But then he also hasn’t brought it out. He feels like he’s just come out of a coma and everyone’s telling him he has a boyfriend, but he doesn't remember anything concrete, just feelings. How his stomach flips when he sees him, how he shivers at his touch, how he looks into his eyes and feels like smiling. And this is after they’ve spent a grand total of what, sixteen hours in each others company? He’s so tired but his mind is racing, wondering whether he’s getting too close, whether he’s falling for Nick. Only no sooner has the thought crossed his mind than the angel on his shoulder says ‘Ha! You mean fallen! Past tense!’. He turns onto his side with his back to Nick and tries to sleep.

Ten minutes later, Louis is still tossing and turning, his back and shoulders feeling knotted and sore. He lies flat on his back to see if that helps but immediately gets a twinge between his shoulder blades that will only go away if he rolls onto his side again. When he turns, Nick’s looking at him, awake and drowsy. “Sorry,” he whispers, “back’s hurting.”

Nick heaves himself into a sitting position and then starts looking on the floor for something. When he picks up his underwear Louis’ heart sinks a bit. 

“You don’t have to go, I’ll stay still.”

Nick stands up to pull on his boxers and Louis curses the Sharon Stone seat, vowing never to sit on one again now. He opens his mouth to protest again but Nick is climbing back onto the bed, kneeling over him. “I was just putting them back on so I can give you a massage. Nothing sexy about a willy flapping about on your back is there?” 

Louis looks back at him, not sure of how to respond to that. “You don’t have to, you must be knackered yourself.”

“No, I’m alright, come on, roll over, let’s get at those shoulders.”

Louis rolls onto his stomach and puts his hands flat on the mattress at either side of his head. He feels Nick straddle him, the hair on his legs tickling, before two strong points of pressure are applied between Louis’ shoulder blades. He moans involuntarily and then hears a gentle gasp and feels Nick’s erection. “Soz,” Nick says, huffing out a laugh. “Couldn’t help that.” He’s almost whispering and Louis is so turned on he’s not sure if he can last through a whole massage with coming under Nick’s fingers like a teenager. Nick’s hands are so big, Louis can feel the span of his fingers as he works into the flesh, covering the whole of his back without any effort. In his drowsiness he feels like Nick’s finger are inside him, like he’s made of chocolate pudding. He concentrates on the movement of Nick’s fingertips and closes his eyes.

When he wakes up it’s light, and the clock says 8.32. He stretches and his back is much better. He turns to the saviour of his aching muscles who is lying with his back to him, still fast asleep. Louis spoons him, slyly trying to wake him up, and it works. Nick rolls onto his back and opens his arms in a stretch so Louis can duck into them and cuddle up. “Morning.” Louis says softly. “Sorry I fell asleep on you last night.” 

Nick just envelops him in his arms and kisses the top of his head. “It’s alright, it’s quite a compliment for those of us skilled in the massage arts. Feeling better?”

“Yeah, much better.”

“Good, you can go on a breakfast hunt in a minute, I’m bloody starving.”

Louis moves to lie over him. “Mmm, I might just go and have a nice full English this morning. Don’t worry though, I’ll bring you a dried up croissant in about an hour.”

Nick makes a defeated, miserable face which makes Louis giggle. “Don’t tease me, I haven’t got the energy, I think I was sleeping next to a bag full of squirrels last night. And I’m craving eggs and I can’t have any because I’ll get caught.”

“I was not like a bag full of squirrels, not after you had your way with me. Could I get my hands on a raw egg? I could cook it in the kettle for you.”

Nick looks entirely incredulous. “You what?”

“I’ve done it loads of times. Pick up some eggs from the market, cook them in the kettle. It boils them.”

“No way!”

Louis laughs. “There’s loads of Delsey Dining tricks I could teach you.”

“Delsey what?”

Louis untangles himself and sits up, fluffing a pillow behind him and Nick follows suit. “Delsey dining, it’s named after the suitcase. We get a food allowance when we’re travelling but sometimes people would rather keep hold of it and save the cash for something else, or they’re too tired to go looking for food, or the room service is too expensive, so you carry round stuff like.. tins of beans - you can cook them in a kettle too, or like, dried soups, dried pasta, that kind of thing.”

“You never cease to amaze me.” says Nick and when Louis turns to him he’s gazing up adoringly. 

After breakfast, and Halima definitely suspects something when Louis once again takes two teas away with him, Nick has to rush off to get home and meet up with his sister. Louis wants to hear about her, but Nick just says there’s nothing much to tell, she’s just your typical older sister, and Louis stops himself from divulging that he’s never had one. Nick hasn’t asked him about his family, or about his life. Maybe he doesn’t care, maybe he’s got too many secrets and doesn’t want the conversation to turn around to him. They kiss goodbye in the room and make plans to hook up in four days. It’s the start of three solid months of seeing each other every week, fucking every week, kissing, sucking and rimming every week, but not talking about their outside lives, and not stopping to think about what they’re doing. They do it in every conceivable position in the almost identical rooms of the Premier Inn, and the days and night become indistinguishable. They go through tiny milestones, like the first time Nick calls him ‘love’ and the first time they have a shower together without fucking.

In those three months Louis flies to Nairobi, Dubai, Jo’burg, Nassau, Rio, Buenos Aires, Kuala Lumpur again, San Fran, Vancouver, Kingston, Sydney, Hong Kong, and Bangkok. He brings Nick little presents, sends him sunset photos from over the Himalayas on whatsapp and receives back a picture of a dead pigeon on Oxford St. It’s all very teenage, long distance, no commitment, here today, gone tomorrow. Until that one night, when Louis just isn’t in the mood.

The flight back from Singapore is a nightmare.There’s a loud, obnoxious American who could be straight out of a National Lampoon film who is complaining about everything and obviously trying to get an upgrade. Louis would upgrade him to the wing of the fucking plane if he could, but all he can do is smile and acquiesce to his every stupid demand. There’s a vegetarian on the plane who did not order the veggie option for her meal but is now demanding one, and isn’t happy with anything that Louis suggests. Of course today would be the day they forget the spare veggie meals so he ends up making a weird Frankenstein salad out of what he can find in the galley, and after all his work she looks at it like she’d rather eat manure. 

The icing on the cake is when Louis agrees to hold a toddler whose mother has dropped her purse under the seat and needs to get it. As soon as Louis takes hold of the little demon he pisses all over him and then starts screaming. “What did you do?” his mother asks, grabbing him back. 

“Don’t worry madam, it’s fine, did you get your purse?”

She looks at him with disgust. “I mean what did you do? He’s never done anything like that before!” 

Louis is literally speechless but luckily his colleague Charmaine rescues him and makes a fuss of the disgusting pissy little bastard while Louis runs to the toilet to get changed and clean off the baby wee with a wet wipe. He then has to spend the last two hours of the flight smelling vaguely of urine whilst wearing trousers two sizes too big which makes him look like he’s playing dress-up in his dad’s suit. By the time they land and he’s plastered on a smile to give his goodbyes at the cabin door, he’s forgotten all about the promise of a shag and wants nothing more than to scrub off a few layers of skin in the shower. He decides against using the rubbish showers and the sandpaper towels in crew reception and just gets onto the crew bus with his pissy uniform in a plastic bag. He texts Nick that he won’t come to the bar because he’s covered in urine, and quickly adds ‘not by choice’. He somehow manages to fall asleep twice on the ten minute journey to the hotel, and checks in with all the wherewithal of a freshly woken zombie, not even thinking to glance over at the bar and see if Nick is there.

He falls asleep again in the shower, which he hasn’t done for a long time. He just about manages to get out and wrap himself in a massive sheet and collapse on the bed before he drifts off again and gets rudely awakened by the boiling of the kettle, which he doesn’t remember turning on. He remembers about Nick and quickly texts him the room number and then just lolls on the bed drinking tea from a travel mug that Nick bought him so he can avoid the tiny hotel cups and their pitiful volume. He drops off holding the tea and nearly spills it everywhere so it gets abandoned on the bedside table and is cold by the time his phone starts ringing, waking him for the fifth time in an hour. It’s Nick.

“Hello? You alright?”

Nick replies that he’s perfectly alright but that he is outside the room and has been knocking for about five minutes and Louis swears at himself before getting up to answer it. He’s so tired he opens the door completely naked, the towel laying forgotten on the bed.

“Oh, hello Sir. Good job it was me, eh?” Nick hustles inside and goes to kiss him, but then pulls up, a worried look on his face. “Are you alright? You look absolutely fucked.” 

Louis opens his eyes wide and shakes his head. “I’m okay, just had a long day, but I’m here… and I’m...yeah, just good, let’s...do it.”

Nick laughs. “That was really convincing, love! Come on, bed with you.” He leads a sleepy, naked Louis to the bed and then starts undressing. Louis just chucks the damp towel onto the floor and lies on his stomach on top of the covers, relaxing into the squashiness of the duvet. He just closes his eyes for a second and when he opens them Nick is saying something.

“Lou? Come on love, just get under the covers or you’ll be cold.”

Louis uses all of his energy to get under the covers and then shuffles closer to Nick as he gets in beside him. He notices Nick has his underwear on. “Did we do it? Have we done it?”

Nick gives a whispery chuckle and turns off the bedside lamp. “Go to sleep babes, come on.”

Louis does as he’s told. 

When he opens his eyes, he’s warm, and so, so, comfortable. He can feel warm skin against his and sees that he’s snuggled up to Nick’s chest. He doesn't want to move, but his bladder is telling him he has to, so he reluctantly starts to extricate himself from Nick’s arms. Nick wakes up, giving his usual confused look, and Louis just kisses him on the lips and says ‘just going’t toilet’. 

While he’s taking a piss his mind ticks away at him with a million questions. Why did Nick stay the night when they weren’t having sex? Does this mean they’re a thing? Does Nick really like him that much? Was he just trying to save the cab fare home? Will he be angry? Will he want to see him again? When he realises he’s been stood there for quite a while with his dick in his hand he flushes and creeps back out to see if Nick is awake. 

Nick is leaning over the kettle, filling it up with bottled water. He turns around at the sound of Louis closing the door. “Oh hello, just making you a brew, are you alright, did you get enough sleep? You were a proper mess last night,” he laughs as he flicks the kettle on and grabs Louis’ travel mug. “You fell asleep and then when I woke you up to make you get under the covers you were like ‘have we done it yet?’” He edges past Louis, kissing him on the cheek and gently touching his stomach to get by. He rinses the travel cup in the sink and carries on talking. “I’ve never seen you like that, you were like a zombie. A fit one though. Like a freshly dead one, not one with maggots.”

He seems to suddenly notice that Louis hasn’t spoken. “Are you okay?”

Louis just nods and smiles. He goes to Nick for a cuddle and shivers at his cold hands. “Sorry about last night, I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I kind of wasted your time didn’t I?”

Nick looks bemused. “You never waste my time. I got to see you, that was all I wanted. I’ve missed you.”

Nick has never said that before. Louis hasn’t either. He’s about to make some sexual offer, to suck him off, or something. But he doesn’t want to ruin the moment. “I missed you too. Can I have a brew now please? I’m naked and thirsty.”

Nick laughs and gives him a squeeze before walking out to the kettle and making Louis’ tea. Louis watches him from the doorway, wondering how he got here, and whether it’s where he wants to be. 

They get into bed and drink their tea, Nick warm and solid next to him. “Can I ask you something work related which you probably don’t know anyway?”

“Yeah. sure.”

“My parents are going to St Lucia for their anniversary with Virgin and they’ve not taken a long haul flight for ages, will they have TV and films and stuff to keep them occupied? My mum’s already doing my dad’s head in saying she’ll need a whole bag just for her books on the plane.”

Louis nods.”Yeah, there’ll be tons of stuff to watch, they won’t get bored. Why doesn’t she get a kindle, or is she proper old school?”

Nick looks thoughtful. “She probably would use a kindle, I’ll have a word with me dad. I totally forgot to be honest, had to beg my sister to put me on the card. At least they’re not having a party or anything, can’t be arsed going back up to Oldham until I absolutely have to.” He puts his arm around Louis’ shoulders and kisses his cheek. “Good to have inside info, I might keep you around.”

Louis feels himself redden and just smiles a tight-lipped smile, knocking his head against Nick’s shoulder. Then he has a thought. “Are they flying from Manchester then? I could see if I can get the pilot to give them a shout out if you like, what anniversary are they on?”

Nick’s face lights up. “Can you do that? They’d love that. They’re going on Tuesday, it’s their 50th, pretty impressive seeing as all they seem to do is argue about which garden centre they’re going to.”

“Maybe that’s the secret to a successful relationship - keeping the garden centre game interesting.”

“Maybe, what kind of garden centres do you like?”

“I like ones with coffee shops.”

“Ugh I hate them ones, the coffee’s always horrible and they’re full of old people arguing about their pensioner’s discount.”

Louis laughs. “Fifty year anniversary here we come.” He freezes. The joke slipped out and now it’s out there. It’s flapping around like a landed fish and neither of them can ignore it.

Nick doesn’t seem to do awkward silences, however. He just chuckles and closes his fingers around Louis’ shoulder. “Maybe we could do a coffee one on Saturday mornings and a non-coffee one on Sunday mornings. Mind you, Saturday morning’s a good time to do your food shopping when you’re like, eighty years old and move like a tortoise. Much better than doing it on a weekday when you’ve got fuck all else on.”

They chatter on about nonsense until Louis’ check out time, then end up getting the same hotel hoppa to the airport, then the same tube to Paddington. They talk all the way about nothing, and it’s only when they both get off that Nick finally asks Louis a question which doesn’t involve either sex, flights, or breakfast. He looks up at the departure boards and says “So like, where do you go now?”

Louis laughs because it’s so ridiculous that Nick doesn’t know. “Got to get a train to King’s Cross now, then Doncaster.”

“Doncaster?!” Nick exclaims, as if it’s more of a shock than Louis flying to Dubai for work. “Wow, I had no idea, I thought you’d live in London.”

Louis shakes his head. “Not many crew live in London to be honest. Can’t afford it! I’m on £22,000 a year and that’s pretty good, I can rent a decent place in Doncaster for that, I share with my mate.”

Nick nods, still obviously surprised. “Bit of a commute though.”

Louis just smiles “Three hours each way, but luckily I often get put up in hotels by my employer, so there are fringe benefits.” He checks his phone. “I have to go, see you after Boston?”

Nick just nods and opens his arms for a hug. He sneaks a kiss on the side of Louis’ head and whispers “Fly safe”, then he’s off. Louis watched him go for a second, then looks up to see where the next train to Kings Cross is coming in. It’s been a weird 24 hours, and he’s got a three hour train journey to dissect everything. He has no idea what the result will be. 

\-----

Three days later, Louis is back at Heathrow, and heads straight for his friend Laura on the customer services desk of Virgin. He turns on a smile as brightly as he can and rolls out the charm “Hello gorgeous, how are you?”

Laura has long, black hair pulled up into a tight bun and a bright red uniform on, collars crisp and a dazzling white shirt. She looks classic, all those Virgin staff do. Proper Pan Am style. “Good morning Sir, how can I help you?” She chirps, winking at him.

Louis draws patterns on the desk with his finger as he talks. “I was just wondering, my boyfriend’s parents are going to UVF from Manc with you tomorrow, any chance of a shout out?”

“Boyfriend?” she smiles. “I didn’t know about this!”

Louis feels heat in his face and ducks his head shyly. “It’s kind of a recent thing, but I want to get in with them. It’s their Golden wedding. Pete and Eileen Grimshaw.”

She ‘aws’ at him and grabs her mobile. “My friend Katie’s the purser on that I think. I’ll give her a text, she owes me one. Grimshaw did you say?”

“Yeah. Aw, cheers darling, I owe you one n’all.”

Her face suddenly is all business. “Where you off then?”

“Boston. Why, what you after?” This is the dance that all ground crew and stewards go through - little favours paid off with goods carried across - the odd Raiders shirt here, a bottle of authentic limoncello there. 

“Can you get me some pretzel M&Ms? I’m almost out.”

“No problem, love. Aw, thanks again, they’ll be made up. And I might benefit myself, you never know.” He winks at her and sticks his hand up to wave her goodbye as she giggles and turns to the customer patiently waiting behind him. Louis smiles to himself as he heads off to sign in, hoping that the word ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t make it into the on board announcement. He probably shouldn’t have said they were boyfriends, but he can’t deny that it felt nice hearing it. And she might not have done it if it had just been a mate. No, he’s made the right decision. Just a little white lie.

The flight is uneventful and he barely even gets the name of the Boston hotel they’ve checked him into. He gets Laura three large bags of pretzel M&Ms from the concourse and tries to work out what time the Grimshaws might get their shout out from the pilot, and what time he should expect a message from Nick about it. He muses that they’re old and probably won’t contact Nick until they get to the hotel in St Lucia at least, maybe not even until they send a postcard to him. Whatever, he knows there’s a thank you coming his way, and he secretly hopes it might give Nick a hint that he’s in this for more than the odd shag at the Purple Palace. 

As soon as the warmth of the hotel bed flows through his body he falls asleep for a good eight hours. With the day in Boston to spare before he’s back on the 21.10 home he has a quick shower then hits the cold streets, his breath catching in the air as he seeks out a free lift downtown. He manages to cadge a lift on a transfer bus from a driver called Manuel who he knows, swapping a big Dairy Milk bar for Manuel’s son, and gets off in the centre of Boston, wandering down to the American Repertory Theatre to see what’s on. He gets a last minute cheap ticket to see a matinee of ‘The Cherry Orchard’ which is pretty good, and then has a quick greasy dinner of potato skins and a burger at one of his favourite haunts before heading back. On the way back to the hotel on another borrowed ride (Charlie, the promise of an Arsenal football programme for next time) he gets a Facebook message from Laura saying that her purser friend managed to get the Grimshaws an upgrade to Business Class. His first reaction is one of victory followed by abject panic. They hardly ever give upgrades for couples and he feels like the purser must have said something to Nick’s mum and dad about this ‘boyfriend’ that they’ve never heard of. He starts to worry that Nick will back off, think he’s some kind of stalker or something. Of course Laura doesn’t know any of this. He sends back an effusive thank you message to her, and makes a mental note to get her another three bags of M&Ms, even though she might have inadvertently ruined his life. He has the jitters all the way back to the hotel, running through every possible negative outcome of his silly little romantic gesture. 

At the airport he’s just about to turn off his phone when his whatsapp goes off. He wonders whether it’s worth looking, now that whatsapp snitches on you that the message has been seen - too many times he’s done that and his friends have noticed and tried to engage him in a group convo while he’s up in the air and unable to join in. Then his phone does what crew call ‘the landing dance’, when it vibrates with a hundred notifications as soon as you hit the ground. He wonders whether it might be Nick, and he checks it for that reason, trying not to think too deeply about what that means. He sweeps a finger over the app, and it is Nick. He takes a deep breath before he reads.

_Mum and Dad just texted me, thanks so much, u didn’t have to do that, they can’t believe it! Thought it was me! Owe you one big time, whatever you want ;-) x x._

Louis smiles, glad that the gesture wasn’t too much for their fledgling...relationship? He doesn’t even know. He’s also mega relieved that the purser clearly didn’t say he was Nick’s boyfriend. That was a close call, an error in judgement that he doesn’t want to make again. He wonders idly if he should play down the upgrade, say he knew nothing about it and just asked for them to be nice to Nick’s mum and dad. Or whether he should take full credit, and cash in whatever sexual favours, and emotional capital, that he might get in return. He texts back:

_I will deffo hold you to that, thinking up some stuff right now x x See you Sat x x_

He turns off his phone, working out times. It’s Tuesday night here, he’ll be in Heathrow Wednesday morning, get back to Donny by Wednesday night then back here on Friday for another Boston flight, then back at the Premier Inn hopefully by about 10pm Saturday with a Sunday noon flight to LA. He misses Nick already. 

\------

He’s just cleared crew customs after the return Boston flight when he remembers to turn on his phone. He leaves it for a few minutes to sort itself out after being off for eight hours and gets changed into civvies for his journey back to Doncaster. On the way out he doubles back into arrivals to drop off the M&Ms on the Virgin desk for Laura. He thanks her again and she drops a few hints about the ‘boyfriend’ giving him a reward which make him blush. He’s feeling giddy, keen to see if he’s got a message from Nick so he stops in the middle of arrivals, and checks whatsapp. The first things he sees is a message preview from Nick that starts ‘Really sorry…’. He swallows and opens the app.

_Really sorry, my mate’s got a thing i have 2 go 2 on sat night, really sorry, totally forgot, don’t even wanna go, i’ll miss u :-(_

It shouldn’t be such a crushing disappointment but he was really looking forward to seeing Nick, primarily because he wants to search for clues about whether he really likes him, whether they might actually be more than just a shag to each other. He tells himself that they’ve been lucky with work patterns so far, they’ve not missed an opportunity to meet up for the last five months, even though Nick must have days off and Louis’ schedule is erratic by its very nature. He decides to be philosophical about it, but not to reply until he’s less upset in case he says the wrong thing. 

He sighs, picking up his case and heading for the tube. It will be Monday before he sees Nick again. 

\-----

Louis hates doing the same city twice in a row and this time it’s especially crap as he doesn’t have anything to look forward to, no warm body waiting for him at the Purple Palace. He’s resigned himself to a night of TV and/or drinking alone in the bar when he walks through the automatic doors of the Premier Inn and sees Nick in the bar after all, standing in front of one of the tables where a bunch of people in going -out clothes are sitting, champagne buckets in front of them.

He can’t keep the smile of his face and wants to go straight over but doesn’t want to disturb him while he’s working. Nick’s got his back to him so he decides to just go and check in and get changed, it’s only 8.30 and Nick is probably working until midnight anyway. In his room he’s thinking about having a nice, long, shower and taking his time getting ready, but he’s too impatient to see Nick. He feels like his whole body is buzzing, and it’s not even about sex, he can admit that now. He wants to see the smile on Nick’s face.wants to feel those arms around him, hear Nick call him babe, or darling, or one of the other cute little epithets he’s so fond of. He decides to get changed and go and sit at the bar, spend as much time as he can with Nick to make up for nearly not seeing him at all this weekend. 

When he wanders out into the bar he’s still with the table he was at before, but now he’s sitting down with them. Louis’ a bit confused because he thought Nick wasn’t allowed to do that. He still doesn’t want to disturb him though, so he goes to his normal seat at the bar, still in Nick’s eyeline, and waits for someone to come and serve him. He glances over and Nick’s caught in conversation with the group, laughing and joking and it’s then than Louis realises - he must know them. He looks at the group. There’s a girl with short dark hair and a gold dress, a guy with tattoos on his actual face and one of those earrings that makes a big hole in your ear, another woman with brown curly hair, and two girls and a guy he can only see the back of. 

Now he has no idea what to do. He doesn’t want to intrude but he’s here now, he can’t go anywhere, and Nick lied to him about not working. He’s going to get seen eventually anyway so he decides to text him.

_Thought you weren’t working tonight?_

He watches Nick out of the corner of his eye and eventually he sees him pick up his phone and look at it. Nick looks up, startled, and guilty. A fake smile comes across his face when he sees Louis, the same one Louis has seen him use on customers. Nick gets up and comes over and Louis honestly feels like he might be sick.

“Hiya, you alright?” Nick says, as if they barely know each other.

Louis just gives a half smile. “Yeah fine, your plans change then?”

Nick looks back over his shoulder. “No, it’s a bit awkward, I had to work until nine so they said they’d come here and get me, I told them not to. I didn’t know you were getting in this early. We’re going to the gig in a minute.”

The girl in the gold dress appears over Nick’s shoulder and looks Louis up and down before turning to Nick.

“Grim, we’re going in a minute, can’t you get changed at the club? She’s on at ten, we need to get a move on or we’ll miss it.”

Nick looks really uncomfortable and before he can speak, the girl turns to Louis. 

“Are you coming with us, Nick’s friend?”

Louis’ about to open his mouth when Nick speaks for him.

“No! I mean, he’s probably tired, he’s cabin crew.” Nick is looking at him with trepidation and the girl is glancing between them both because she knows something’s up. 

“I’m not that tired.” Louis isn’t letting him off the hook, he knows he probably sounds desperate, but why shouldn’t he go? 

Nick starts stuttering, looking behind him at the group, most of whom are watching. “It’s just...I’m not coming back here later, so I mean, you’d be stuck in central London. So, I mean…” 

“Well I …” Louis is about to say he could stay at Nick’s place but stops himself when he sees how awkward the look is on his female friend’s face. He looks at the rest of the table who aren’t laughing anymore. He swallows hard, trying to keep the hurt off his face. “Yeah, you’re right. I am tired actually, so, have a good time anyway.” He gets down from his stool just as the barman walks over. 

“Peroni Louis?”

Louis just shakes his head. “No, I’m gonna turn in, thanks though.” He looks at Nick, hoping for anything, anything to make him feel less humiliated. There’s nothing, just second-hand embarrassment, so he leaves, with a quiet ‘see you later’ left hanging in the air.

As he walks away he nods to the table of Nick’s friends, who nod back. He makes it to the room just as the first tear is threatening to roll down his cheek and sits on the bed with his head in his hands, taking deep breaths before he screams. Just then his phone goes off. It’s a text from Nick.

_What room u in?_

He ignores it, only just stopping himself from throwing the phone across the room. He wants to text back 326, why? As if he’s not bothered, as if he didn’t just have his hopes crushed, as if he wasn’t just embarrassed in front of Nick’s stupid hipster friends, as if Nick didn’t now think he was a stupid, immature, lovesick idiot who didn’t know the difference between a boyfriend and a casual fuck. He hates himself, in that moment, and doesn’t leave any of the blame for what’s just happened at Nick’s door, not when he can absorb it all, and not like he didn’t warn himself about falling for Nick time and time and time again. He can hear the devil on his shoulder mocking him. Stupid, naive Louis who they’re probably all laughing at. Nick telling them that he’s a stalker, that he’s obsessed. “He got my parents upgraded on a flight, he buys me little trashy presents from all over the world, he thinks we’re a couple.”

He’s just about to let himself cry when there’s a soft knock at the door. He feels like just ignoring it but there’s a ridiculous sliver of hope that Nick will apologise, ask him to come after all, say he can stay at his house, introduce him to his friends, kiss him in public. He gets up and opens the door, trying to keep the emotion off his face. Nick just stands there, fidgeting. He looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“Hi, sorry, I got your room number from the system, can I just come in a minute?”

The tone is all business. Louis is getting dumped, right here and now in this hotel room. He walks into the room and sits back on the bed, head down, fingers gripping the mattress.

The door clicks shut and Nick stays glued to it. “I’m sorry about that, it was just a bit awkward because they don’t know about you or anything, and they were never meant to be here, and I wasn’t meant to be here by the time you arrived, it’s just, bad timing.”

Louis looks up and as calmly as possible says “It’s okay.” Nothing in his tone suggests that it is.

Nick hovers a bit, twisting his fingers together like he does when he’s nervous. “I’ll be working every night next week though, I’ll be here.”

What Louis plans to say is “It’s fine, I’ll see you next week”, but that’s not what comes out of his mouth. He looks up and fixes Nick with a steely look. “Oh right, so I’m okay for a shag but not good enough to tell your friends about.”

Nick gapes. “It’s not like that…”

“Well that’s what it fucking looks like. You could have introduced me to them, you could have done that. You don’t mind me being your dirty little secret, your little bit of stuff you keep at the hotel and don’t tell anyone about.” 

“You know that’s not what this is, you know that.” Nick’s serious now, his jaw clenching like Louis has never seen before. “It’s just...I wasn’t expecting you to be here and, I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know how to explain to them.”

Louis is so close to crying that he digs his fingernails into hand. He won’t cry in front of him, he won’t. “I think I can explain, why don’t you start with something like ‘ This is Louis, I meet him once a week and we fuck, he’s nothing but a fucking whore, so don’t bother getting to know him because he means nothing to me and I’m ashamed of him.” His voice cracks at the end and he turns his back on Nick to try and pull himself together. He wants to cry so much, now he just wants Nick to go so he can collapse in tears.

“No. You know that’s bullshit. I’m not ashamed of anything, you can’t bring this to me now, as if we’ve ever even talked about what we’re doing. We haven’t talked about it, you’ve never once said to me you wanted more than this, we don’t even know anything about each other. I don’t know about your family, your friends, anything.”

“You never fucking asked.” Louis snaps, defeated. “You know what, just… fuck off, don’t keep your real friends waiting.” He turns around when he doesn't hear Nick leave and sees him standing there, out of ideas, gently shaking his head. “Fuck off, go on! Or do I have to call reception and tell them there’s a staff member who won’t get out of my room?”

Nick just sighs and says “I’m sorry.” He leaves, the heavy hotel door clicking firmly shut behind him, and Louis finally dissolves into tears. He falls onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow and sobs, before launching all the pillows across the room and punching the mattress with every sob that leaves his lips. When he’s too exhausted to cry anymore he groggily gets up and picks up a pillow, hugging it for dear life as he pulls the covers over his shaking, fully clothed body and prays he doesn’t dream about the man who’s just broken his heart.

\---

When he gets back from LA he doesn’t use the room at the Premier Inn, instead he pays for his own at the Travelodge, and emails a request to his manager to go on short haul duties until further notice. He claims that he has family responsibilities and needs to be on a more regular schedule for a while. He also says he’s happy to work out of regional airports rather than Heathrow. 

He gets five text messages from Nick the day after the break up, which he deletes. They all say the same thing anyway: I’m sorry, can we talk, I’m really sorry, never meant to hurt you, please don’t be mad at me. What they don’t say is: I really like you, you mean something to me, you’re wrong. No messages like that ever come. Louis deletes his number and cries for half an hour afterwards.

Back in Doncaster he mopes around the house whenever he’s there. Stan, his housemate, notices straight away and tried to make him talk about it, but he won’t. Eventually, after a month of crappy jobs on short haul runs to Scandinavia and Eastern Europe, Louis gets a proper cob on and Stan asks if he’s okay in such a serious manner that Louis breaks down in front of him and gets frogmarched to the settee. Stan puts a re-assuring arm around him and gently shakes him in that very heterosexual male way. It’s the same way his stepdad Mark used to comfort him when he was a kid. 

“Come on mate, what’s up? Is it work, is it stress or something?”

Louis shakes his head. He’d love to be back at work now, on his worldwide duties, but he doesn't want that sick, crippling feeling he got when he landed at Heathrow after LA and knew the next stop for him was supposed to be the very place he’d fallen for someone and then got his heart ripped to pieces.

Stan pauses before he says “It is like, a bloke or something?” 

Louis manages a small smile. He knows Stan really doesn't want to talk about his love life, but God bless him, he’s trying. “Yeah. It is.”

Stan puffs his cheeks and blows the air out like he’s looking at a faulty boiler system or a knackered car battery. “Come on then, let’s have it.”

Louis tells him everything, apart from the gory details of his sex life. He tells how Nick was kind to him, was caring, sweet, made him laugh, but that ultimately it meant nothing. He uses the phrase ‘hooked up’ rather than ‘fucked like rabbits’. He tells him about the way Nick used to look at him, how he made him tea and always had his pint ready at the bar, and never let him pay for it. He tells him about sitting in bed talking, about how excited he used to get when he was about to see him. 

Stan just listens, never reacting, never chipping in. When Louis is done describing the final showdown, Stan looks at him expectantly. “Is that the end then? You had a fight?”

“It wasn't just a fight, I was humiliated, he made out like I was obsessed with him.”

Stan wrinkles his brow. “Did he say that?”

“Well no, he said we hadn’t talked about what we were doing.”

“And had you?”

Louis bites his lip. “No. But I was there Stan, I was there, I know what we were doing, it was more than just sex, we were like….boyfriends. But he just acted like he was ashamed of me.”

Stan squeezes his shoulder. “Maybe if you just spoke to him, you might get back together?”

Louis wasn’t expecting the talk to go like this. Normally, if Louis was describing to Stan how he was the injured party, he’d back him up all the way, say what a wanker the bloke was, how he deserved a smack. “Do you think I’ve overreacted?”

Stan laughs. “Overreact? You? Bloody hell Lou, yeah I’d say there’s a chance of that.” 

Louis huffs out an embarrassed laugh. “Am I the dickhead?”

Stan hugs him, slapping him hard on the back. “Always Lou, always. Why don’t you text him?”

Louis looks abashed. “I deleted his number.” 

“Send him a Facebook message.”

“I never had him on Facebook. And I deleted him from whatsapp.”

Stan sighs. “Well why don’t you try and get back on the Heathrow flights and go and see him? What’s the worst that can happen? You’re miserable doing these short hauls to fucking Oslo, just go and get back to your real job.”

For the first time in months, Louis actually feels hopeful. He pats Stan on the back and goes straight to his laptop. In the email to his manager he says he ready to come back to work on worldwide, and within half an hour she’s offered him Beijing back to back. Beijing are day flights, so he won’t be put up at the Purple Palace this time, but he can at least get back in the swing of things. He has two 13 hour journeys to think about what he’s going to say to Nick. He hopes that will be enough.

\----

The rest of the crew are glad to see him when he hits reception at Heathrow the following week. He’s been telling everyone his self-imposed holiday to short haul was because of family issues so he has to fend off questions about the health of his mum and siblings, but after five minutes they’re all back to gossiping about the new Mixed Fleet crew and how shit they are, and how the union are up in arms about new contracts, and how lucky they are to be on permanent. He hugs Mina, one of his best flying buddies, a sweet Indian girl with a lovely, soft Yorkshire accent who’s just come back off maternity leave. They’re both doing the back to back, and Louis couldn’t be happier to have a good friend with him while he gets back into it.

“Meens, it’s been shit without you, how’s Sami?”

Her face lights up and she grabs her phone to show him a picture. “Oh my God, he’s so cute, he’s starting to make proper sounds now and everything. When Aamir said mummy was going to work he pointed at the plane you got him! He’s so clever…”

She rambles about the baby and Louis nods and smiles. If Mina can do it, have a relationship, have a baby, have a family, then there’s no reason Louis can’t do it too, so it always comforts him to hear about her life. He puts his arm around her and gives her a squeeze. “Can’t wait to meet him, you’ll have to bring him to the Christmas party or something.” 

She makes a face. “Balls to that, I’m having a drink at the Christmas party! Aamir can sort him out! Congratulations by the way, Maxine’s on leave so you’re in First.”

“Am I?” Louis looks at the whiteboard with the roster on it. “Oh nice one!” First class isn’t necessarily easier but there are fewer passengers so more customer service stuff, which Louis likes, and less baby piss, vomit, and noise. 

The flight’s a lot of fun with Mina there, they gossip in the galley, get to upgrade an adorable old man because someone doesn’t show up for First, and for once there’s no screaming babies, unaccompanied kids or anyone pestering them for stupid shit. They get to see amazing daylight views as they fly over the Gobi desert, and they end up drinking free champagne in the spa of the Airport Hilton. Louis had forgotten what a nice trip the Beijing back to backs were, it seemed like all that was on his mind in the last few months of work was getting back to Nick - he’d not been living in the moment, just pinballing all over the world, punctuating his days with whatsapp messages and daydreaming, counting minutes and hours until he’d see Nick again. In his room he thinks about where he’d like to take Nick, where they could fly to, just the two of them. He thinks of the excitement and the glamour of just telling Nick to pack a bag because they’re getting a standby, and it could be to anywhere - Sao Paolo or Stockholm, Kingston or Quebec. 

On the flight back he has a nice bunch in First, though his luck with babies has run out and there’s a woman on the front row with not only a four month old, but a sling on her arm, so she needs extra assistance. He patiently tells the woman that nothing is too much trouble, then ducks into the mid galley and mouths ‘fucking hell’ to Mina, making her crease up. As it is, the baby and the woman both sleep for most of the flight and they’re no real trouble. He thanks the plane Gods for giving him an easy ride.

In the last twenty minutes of the flight they sit in the fore galley with a coffee, Louis with one ear out for his First call buttons. Mina eats a banana while she lets her shoes hang off her feet, still getting used to the heels after a few months off. “So, what’s new with you? Any romance on the cards? What happened to that gorgeous bloke from First I remember?”

Louis shakes his head, amused. He hasn’t thought about Harry for months now. “That was like, a year before you even went off Meens. He was a prick anyway.” He pauses, not sure if he should mention Nick, but not able to stop himself. “There was someone, I’m trying to get him back, we had a falling out.” 

Her eyes widen, clearly having been deprived of gossip for too long. “Ooo, how are going to get him back? Are you going to do a big romantic gesture? See if the Captain’ll write a message in the sky for you!”

He laughs. “I don’t think that’s one of the features of a 777 but thanks all the same. I don’t know what I’m going to do to be honest, just try and talk to him I suppose. I don’t know if he wants anything serious, might be just a fling. That’s kind of what the fight was about.”

She leans forward like she’s going to impart some great wisdom. “When I was first with Aamir, he was like, oh we’re just dating. And we went on three dates over three weeks, then he just didn’t ring me to set up another one. So I waited, and I texted him, and he didn’t reply, so I left him a voicemail saying someone had asked me out at work, and I didn’t know whether were exclusive or not, so could he ring me to just let me know, or if I didn’t hear anything, I’d just go on the date.” She gives herself an adorable little clap. “Well, he calls me straight away. ‘Oh babes, we’re definitely exclusive, who’s this idiot asking you out’ etcetera etcetera. We were engaged six months later. Men are easy Lou, promise.”

Louis chuckles at her. He’s missed her so much, she’s completely bonkers. They’ve got a crew of 15 on board but whenever Mina is here it may as well be just the two of them. “Thanks Meens, I’ll try that. I’ll say Big John’s asked me out.”

She squeals. “That’s who I said it was! He thought Big John meant something else. You should have seen his face when he met him at that summer party thing, he was so funny, he was like ‘Erm, John, do you work on the planes?’ and John’s like ‘are you taking the piss mate, I’m twenty five stone!”

Louis is doubled up laughing when the captain announces ten minutes to landing. “Go on, peasant, back to Biz with you, I’ve got important First Class things to attend to up here.” She gives him the finger and moves out towards Business Class and the mid galley as he follows, asking the passengers to fasten their seatbelts, put their tray tables back up and turn off their electronics. He has to wake an older lady because Louis can’t see if her belt is fastened, and carry away the glassware and spare wrappers and rubbish. The flight is coming in about fifteen minutes early which is always good. The passengers aren’t stressing to get off and there’s no switching of runways. Just as he’s turning to take some rubbish back to the galley the cabin jolts heavily and there are audible gasps from the passengers. Louis stumbles and has to grab onto one of the seats, startling the lady sitting it in. He plasters on a smile. “Sorry about that madam, just a bit of turbulence.”

“Is everything alright?” 

He turns to his left, to a woman in a business suit whose face has gone a bit pale. “Everything’s fine madam, just turbulence as we’re coming lower. We’ll be landing in a few minutes.”

She takes a breath and nods. He glances out of the window, trying to keep his face straight. He can see the ground coming up and thinks maybe they’re coming in a bit fast, but dismisses the thought. That level of turbulence is unusual at this height but he knows how safe these planes are. He’s more concerned for passengers panicking, which is the biggest danger. 

He carries on through the cabin, only having nine passengers to worry about. He wonders if he should check on Business but decides against it. The panickers are more likely to be in Economy where the seats are closer together and he’s not going all the way back there. 

When his checks are finished he sits in the jump seat and buzzes the flight deck that his cabin is secure. When the captain announces two minutes to landing he fastens his belt and hears the other two cabins chime as well. He looks through the window of the cabin and a chill runs through him. The flaps are retracting, which means they’re going to come in faster which doesn’t make sense. Just then it hits him how fast they are still going. He takes a deep breath and waits. He knows that if there was a problem then Anna, the lead steward would be called and that’s not happened.

He looks out of the window again, and this time there’s no mistake, they’ve only just cleared the airport antennas and they’re going to come down hard. He makes eye contact with a passenger whose face is panicked, mouth and eyes wide, and he’s just about to put his hands up to calm him when there’s an almighty crash and he rattles in his seat, saved from falling only by the belt which digs into hips as he flies up. Bits of metal and plastic fall all around him, the galley trolley bounces on its brake.The lights go off in the cabin and there’s a hideous scraping and deafening rumble which goes on and on, accompanied now by the screams of passengers. The oxygen masks fall from the ceiling and there are more screams as they dangle like nooses. Some passengers try to pull them and one young woman is just screaming and flailing, wetness spreading beneath her as she loses control of her bladder. 

He wants to get up to help her but it’s completely against his training so he stays still. They can’t have any landing gear left and they’re still moving, the fuel tanks are going to be dragging along the concrete of the runway. He thinks of his mum, and his sisters, and he thinks of Nick, and how they left it. There’s an almighty crack and a terrible crunch and then abruptly, they stop. He looks about him and yells as forcefully as he can “Everyone stay seated with your seatbelts fastened!” 

He wonders whether there’s anything left of Economy, Business must still be there because he can’t see anything beyond the curtain. The PA comes on and he hears the words he once had to say in training when he was playing ‘the captain’ At the time it was fun and games, but he never thought he’d hear it again. “This is the Captain, this is the Captain, emergency, evacuate, evacuate.”

He gets out of his belt and jumps up, forcing the girt bar on the cabin door and opening it. The silver evac slide unfurls from the door and he yells into the cabin “Bring the baby up! Make your way out please! Jump onto the slide!”

The passengers are crowding now and there’s a strong smell of fuel in the cabin. “Jump! Jump!” He looks for the woman with the baby and sees her frozen in her seat. Trying to remember his training, he repeats “Jump! Jump!” to get them into a rhythm so that they evacuate one per second. “Come on with the baby!” he yells again, but she won’t budge. The second to last passenger jumps and he goes to drag her up. “Give her to me and jump!”

The woman screams and shakes her head. “No, no!” 

He takes her by the shoulders and looks straight into her eyes. “Listen to me, you can’t hold her, give her to me, and jump, we’re right behind you.” The smell of fuel is overwhelming now, one spark and the whole plane will go.

Her face crumples into tears and she hands over the baby before jumping down the slide. Louis takes one last scan of the cabin and jumps clutching the baby. He’s caught by someone on the ground and bundles the waiting mother away from the plane as quickly as he can. A member of ground crew in a high viz jacket runs up to him and he hands off the screaming baby. The mother turns and yells “thank you!” through a flood of tears.

He turns, and the scene before him makes him heave. The plane is half-destroyed, the landing gear looks like a broken bird’s leg, ripped in half and laying on the concrete. The white foam of the cooling fluid bleeds out from the undercarriage and the cowling sits metres away from the wrecked engine. He’s shocked back to earth by hands on his shoulders, putting a silver heatsheet around him and pulling him away from the site. He lets himself be moved and looks at the face of the person leading him. She’s saying something. “ - - all accounted for. No fatalities.”

“No fatalities?” he parrots, not quite believing it. 

“No fatalities, no serious injuries. Well done.” She pats him on the back and tears well in his eyes. He chokes them back and focuses on moving towards the lights of the airside buildings. He’s propelled into a reception room and sat down while a paramedic checks him over. He answers her questions in a monotone and glances around the room where they’ve set up triage. There’s only crew in here, and they all look completely fine. He looks around suddenly, missing Mina, but sees her in a corner, a ladder in her tights the only clue that this wasn’t a smooth flight. 

“Andy, we’re ready to go here.” he hears the medic say, and looks up. There’s a member of ground crew, Andy Wilson, helping him up and he goes with him through to yet another room where a woman hands him a cup of tea. He sits and starts sipping at it while Andy shuffles some papers. 

“Well done, mate. Really well done.” He looks at Andy, whose face swims through Louis’ tears. 

“Don’t be nice to me mate or I’ll cry.”

Andy just gives a hacking, stressed out laugh and claps him on the shoulder. “Right you are, Louis. Now you sup that and I’ll sort out where you’re going on to.” His Essex drawl is quite comforting, reminds him of when he first qualified and Andy called him princess for the first month to wind him up. “Right, did your phone make it out?”

Louis pats his pockets and shakes his head. 

“They’ll probably pick it up when the AIAB are in there, we’ll try and get it back for you. I’ve got an emergency contact here for your mum, shall I ring that?”

Louis thinks. His mum has a houseful of kids to contend with, he doesn't want her coming down here just to take him back home. He could get Stan, but he doesn’t know the number off by heart and it’ll take ages anyway by the time he’s got down on the train. There's only really one option. “I could call my mum and tell her I’m alright, but could you call someone at the Premier Inn?”

Andy looks surprised. “The Heathrow Premier Inn? They’ll be taking you there anyway, do you want them to come and get you?”

“No, just ask them if they’ll meet me when I get there.”

Andy looks unsure. “We’re supposed to deliver you to someone who’s going to look after you, or we have to keep you here.”

Will he look after me? Louis wonders. “Just ask him, it’s Nick Grimshaw, he’s the bar manager. Just ask and if not...I don’t know, I’ll think of someone else.

Andy nods and moves over to a desk with a cordless phone. Louis feels awkward listening to the phone call but he doesn’t have much choice.

“‘’Ello, can I please speak to Nick Grimshaw? It is an emergency. Thanks. Hello, Mr Grimshaw? This is Andy calling from British Airways, we’ve got Louis Tomlinson here…..Yes…..Yes, he’s fine, he’s not injured, we just need to hand him off to someone who’ll keep an eye on him, are you able to do that?”

There’s too much of a pause, and Louis holds his breath. He can hear Nick talking and just prays it’s him saying yes.

“That’s great, just let me check.” Andy holds the phone away from his face. “Louis, are you sure you don’t want him to come out here and get you?”

“No, I’m okay, just get him to meet me.” It’s okay then. He sighs with relief.

“Alright, thanks Mr Grimshaw. If there’s any problems at all, call an ambulance for him, there’s a chance of delayed shock. It’ll be about twenty minutes. Okay, thanks.” Andy hangs up and dials another number, handing the phone to Louis. “Your mum.”

His mum is frantic. She’s been ringing his mobile and getting no answer, she’s been ringing the airport, the airline, the police. He tells her to calm down because he’s fine, not a scratch on him. She asks who’s going to look after him, and when he’s coming home. He tells her he’s on his way to the Premier Inn, that there’s someone there who will look after him, a friend. By the time she lets him hang up, he’s exhausted. 

\---

The taxi ride takes ten minutes, and as soon as it pulls up in front of the hotel Nick is there. Louis tries to smile when he sees him, but can’t. He keeps shaking and feels weak ,his legs heavy and his head a mess. The taxi door opens and he gets out. Nick grabs him, wraps his arms around him and holds him tight. He’s saying something but Louis isn’t listening. “I need to get inside.” he whispers, and Nick looks worried. He puts an arm round him and they walk towards the entrance. Nick is a solid presence next to him, holding him up and steering him when he feels like collapsing. They walk straight past reception and Louis looks at him. 

“I’ve checked you in love, I’ve got the key. Let’s just get you into the room.” 

Louis nods and just keeps putting one foot in front of the other until finally he’s in the room, thankfully on the ground floor, and Nick is fussing around him. “Come and sit down love, do you want anything? Have you eaten or anything? Shall I make you some tea?”

They sit on the bed and Louis looks up at him. He just about manages to squeak out “Nick…” before he breaks down in floods of tears and clings to him. 

“It’s okay darling, it’s alright, I’m here.”

He cries and cries, a wet patch on the front of Nick’s shirt just spreading wider and wider until he runs out of tears and just sits, gasping, his face and head aching from the effort. Nick shushes him and gets him to breathe. Louis’ uniform suddenly feels restricting and tight and he starts taking it off in an illogical order, a button here, a sleeve of his jacket, a shoe. Eventually Nick stays his hands and starts undressing him. He takes off Louis’ shoes, undoes his pants and tells Louis to stand up while he gets them off. Unbuttons his shirt and pushes it off his shoulders, while Louis just stands there like a doll. When he’s just in his underwear Nick pulls up the duvet and Louis slips inside, propping himself up with pillows, not ready to sleep and dream of being burned alive.

Nick calls someone on the room phone and orders a big plate sharer, two teas and a side of chips with some bread and butter. Louis doesn’t know if he’s hungry or not, but he does want some tea. His mouth is dry and he wants the ritual of making it, holding it. He did major incident training once and they told him that making tea was one of the most important things you could do in the aftermath of a big loss of life incident. The mundane actions of adding sugar and milk, asking how strong someone takes it, the warmth of the cup. All these things calm people’s minds. He wonders if it still works if you know it’s supposed to. 

Nick sits next to him on the bed, and holds him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Louis puts some thought into his answer. “Yeah, I want to.”

Nick pulls his onto his chest and kisses the top of his head. “Go on then. Talk.”

Louis talks. He tells him all about every second of the whole back to back flight, about Mina, about being in First, about the views over the desert, the pool at the Hilton. He’s just finished telling him about the baby being on board when the food comes. Nick spreads it out on trays on the bed spread. Louis nibbles on tempura prawns, duck parcels, chips and onion rings and stops talking while he does. His brain seems to know he needs energy, and Nick was smart getting the sharing platter, with all its grease and salt. When it’s all gone save an unappetising looking prawn Nick puts the plates outside, and settles back down with Louis in his arms.

The next part of the story is worse. He starts with the chat he had with Mina in the galley, then he has to talk about the accident. He calmly goes through every detail he remembers until he’s on the tarmac, then he stops. Nick shifts to look at him. There’s concern written all over his face. 

“I’m not investigating the crash Lou. How did you feel? You must have been terrified, I don’t care how much training you’ve had.”

“I thought about you. When we crashed. I thought about my mum and sisters and the babies, but I thought about you as well. I thought...I just thought...it’s so disappointing, because I was gonna come here and tell you I was sorry and try and make it up with you, and instead, I was gonna die.” He starts crying again. “I was gonna die and you wouldn’t have known, you wouldn’t have known I wanted you back. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He clings to Nick again, fat tears rolling down his face. “I’m sorry I was weird, I just..I wanted it so much, and then...it was just gone.”

Nick takes him by the shoulders, and looks into his eyes, just as Louis had done to the woman with the baby, just as you do to someone who really has to understand what you’re about to say. “Right, listen. I love you. I don’t give a shit. I love you. And I wanted to say that when I last saw you and I couldn’t, I kept thinking it wasn’t right to say it, when we were fighting and then today... I had to see that plane on the news….” his voice cracks and he has to clear his throat. “I saw it, and it said it was BA and I thought, what if he’s on that plane? What if he’s not coming back. And I thought, if he’s alive, I’ll do anything…” he sobs and lifts his head up as if gravity will keep in the tears. “I’ll do anything. And when I got that phone call...I knew what it was, but I knew you had to alive, and I said thank you and I didn’t know who I was saying it to. I’m not religious or anything, but I said thank you. And I knew someone had given me something, and I couldn’t just fuck it up. So I love you, darlin’. I love you Louis, and you can have anything you want from me. And if you don’t want me anymore then….I don’t know. But I’m here.”

Louis can’t think of anything to do but wipe Nick’s tears away, so he does. Then he hugs him. “You know I love you. You must have known. And I’m not going anywhere. I just want to be your boyfriend for a bit. I want us to get out of this fucking hotel.”

Nick smiles. “Yeah.”

“I want us to go and do things together. I want us to meet each others’ friends and stuff and I want to know everything about you. And tomorrow, I want us to have breakfast, in the dining room, together. And I never want to eat another croissant out of a bag again.”

Nick laughs his lovely, deep rumbling laugh and kisses him. “I can do all of that. That’s no problem.”

“They’ll probably sign me off for a while after this. We could...Like, we could go somewhere.” He looks up, trying to gauge whether he’s pushing Nick too far too quickly. 

He just smiles down at him, nothing but love in his eyes. “Anywhere you want. Where have you never been?”

Louis thinks. He’s been almost everywhere. All these exotic locations, far flung destinations. “I’ve never been to Benidorm.”

Nick shrieks with laughter. “Benidorm?! Are you serious? You’ve never been to Benidorm? And you actually wanna go?”

“Yeah! I want to go some shit British pub and have a Sunday roast in the 80 degree heat. I want to watch a Take That tribute band with a pint of Carling and not speak any Spanish and complain about the foreign food and get a tshirt that says ‘Bad Boys Go To Beni’.”

Nick is loving it, his eyes crease up at the edges and he shakes as he laughs. “No probs. I’ll book it. We’ll go to Benidorm.” He leans in and they kiss for ages, until Louis’s arm starts to go dead and he pulls away, telling Nick to get his kit off so they can sleep.

When they’re under the covers, Nick turns out the light and holds him close. Louis wakes up twice, nightmares taking hold of him. The first time, Nick’s solid arms around him feel like twisted, burning metal pinning him inside the cabin while everyone else leaves. He wakes up struggling and whimpering and Nick has to shush him back to sleep. The second time, it’s Nick who is burning in the cabin, oblivious to Louis’ screams and sitting bolt upright in his seat as Louis desperately tries to move him. That time he’s drenched in sweat and Nick gets a flannel to cool him down. When he finally wakes properly the following morning he’s physically drained and Nick fusses around him, making him tea, stroking his hair, posting a Facebook status on Louis’ account saying that he’s fine when the number of messages in his inbox reaches triple figures and he can’t keep up anymore. Around eleven Louis starts to think about packing up and moving out but Nick stops him.

“I could book us in for another night you know? Or get us in at the Travelodge? You don’t have to worry about rushing back.”

Louis scratches his nose, wondering what he’s going to do. “I should really go and see my mum. I mean, she knows I’m okay but she’ll still be worried about me.”

Nick doesn’t look happy. “Are you ready for that though? Three hours on the train on your own? What if you get upset or something?”

Louis shrugs. “Gotta do it some time. I’ll be alright.”

“What if…” Nick looks down, playing with a loose thread on the duvet. “What if I came with you? To Doncaster I mean. Then you could go back but you wouldn’t be on your own. I can take a couple of days off, I wouldn’t like knowing you’re by yourself, it was less than 24 hours ago you were in that accident.”

Nick still isn’t looking at him, so Louis reaches out and pulls him into a hug. “That would be really nice actually. I mean, I’d feel better if you were there.”

“Well that’s settled then isn’t it? Shall we go and have breakfast at the airport first?”

Louis chuckles. “Yeah. let’s treat ourselves. Eating breakfast at a table!”

The receptionist asks after Louis as they check out, says they were all worried about ‘their’ crew when the news came through. He thanks her and feels a fleeting moment of affection for the Purple Palace, although he could do without seeing it again for a while.

On the train back to Doncaster Nick falls asleep and Louis shakes his head at him, taking a photo and posting it on Facebook. He captions it “I don’t like the idea of you being on your own on the train he said!” and tags him in it. He snuggles into Nick’s side and closes his eyes. He feels safe, he feels loved, and although cabin crew say it a lot, this time he feels he’s really on his way home. 

 

Epilogue

Nick scans the crowd for Jay as the room starts to fill up. He’s never been in a Heathrow conference room before, and he can’t tell where Louis will be coming in until he spots the red carpet and the flowers near the back of the room. Suddenly he sees Jay enter through a side door and waves her over. She looks immaculate in dark blue, like she could be on the cabin crew herself. When she spots him her face lights up and she waves dramatically, doing a little mum-jog over in her red heels. 

“Hello love!” She gathers him up into a hug and kisses him on the cheek, then quickly rubs her own bright red lipstick off him. “How was Benidorm? Some of the pictures were so funny, where did you get those daft t-shirts?”

Nick laughs. “He’d planned on having them since we first decided we were going, we looked ridiculous didn’t we? Like we were on some crap stag weekend! I told him I had a reputation to think of, but he insisted.”

“Well at least he had a good time, I think he was back at work too quickly but he knows best.”

Nick nods. He’s not going to contradict Louis’ mum but he knows for a fact how desperate Louis was to get back up in in the air. When they’d flown to Benidorm he’d worried that Lou would freak out on the aircraft, but all he did was tut that the only man on the Jet2 cabin crew had creases in his shirt. “That’s come out of the packet and he hasn’t even ironed it. We’d never get away with that,” he’d whispered as they came around flogging expensive drinks and scratchcards. He’d insisted they get their own drinks at the airport because he knew the markup. He’d also laughed at Nick for craning his neck to see the safety demonstration. “You’re alright love, I think I’ve got you covered.”

The packed conference room starts to quieten when someone gets up onto a small stage with a microphone and asks for everyone’s attention. The man is maybe in his fifties with short cropped dark hair and a nice suit. There’s a table next to him with a stack of small leather boxes, and a woman in a dark suit with the standard BA scarf around her neck. “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I’m Willie Walsh, CEO of British Airways, and I would like to thank you all for coming here today to help us to recognise the extreme professionalism and bravery of our crew on the stricken Flight 038 from Beijing.”

Applause rings out, and Nick can see members of crew in the audience who already have tears in their eyes.

“A crash landing is one of the worst case scenarios in air travel, one that we plan for so meticulously, and hope beyond hope that we will never have to experience. The courage displayed by our crew has made us tremendously proud, and we are delighted to award to them the airline’s highest honour, the British Airways Safety Medal.”

The captain and co-pilot come out first, followed by some people in cabin crew uniforms who Nick assumes are the lead stewards. Louis comes straight after them, looking perfect in his uniform. He shakes the hand of the chief executive and is photographed receiving his medal, then stands at the back of the stage as the other crew members come up. Nick can see him scanning the room and smiles when their eyes meet and Louis gives a tiny little wave, beaming as he stands next to Mina, who has started to cry. Nick nods towards her and points and after a second or two Louis looks down and puts his arm around her, saying something to make her laugh. After more photos the chief executive thanks everyone for coming and asks them to stay for a reception, and the crew make their way down the steps of the small stage and out into the crowd. Louis makes his way through dozens of people congratulating him and shaking his hand before he reaches Nick and Jay and pulls them into a group hug.

Jay has tears in her eyes as she cuddles him. “Oh love, I’m so proud of you, well done. Let’s have a look then, let’s see the medal.”

He smiles and flips open the box to reveal a gold medal with the British Airways coat of arms and the motto ‘To Fly. To Serve.’ He takes it out of the box and looks surprised to see an engraving on the back. “I didn’t know my name would be on it! ‘Awarded to Louis Tomlinson for professionalism and bravery beyond the call of duty”.”

“Oh Louis!” Jay’s crying again and Nick gives her the tissue he had ready for himself. As it is he doesn’t feel like crying. Louis looks so hot in his uniform that he just feels like giving him a good seeing to. He puts his arm around Louis and kisses him on the head. “My hero.”

Louis beams. “Guess what? I just found out, I’m getting a promotion to lead steward next month!”

Jay squeals with delight and Nick tries to look happy for him but there’s a niggling thought. “That’s….great - does that mean you’ll be away more?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “No, the same amount, but more money to spend buying my boyfriend nice things.”

“Oh, that’s alright then.”

Louis just laughs and adds “Yeah so I’m thinking I might move to London. Not sure yet though, I’ll have to see.”

“Oh great, so I’ll see even less of you then and Nick gets to see you every day! After everything I’ve done for you Louis Tomlinson.” Jay’s still smiling though, and Nick thinks she might have seen this coming even before the promotion.

Louis looks at him, the ‘living together’ thing just hanging in the air. Nick thinks back to that sick feeling he got when he saw the 777 on the runway, and says another silent thank you to the universe. Time to take the plunge. “Maybe we should move to Hounslow or Hatton Cross or something, be nearer to work.”

“Or..” Louis says, “maybe we get a place in actual London and you can look at that bar you were wanting to buy into.”

Nick laughs. “Yeah right, I’ll just get that £50,000 that I found down the back of the settee and we’ll do it. No biggie.”

Louis looks smug and just nods. “Yeah, well let’s talk about it later then eh?”

It’s an odd response, and when Nick looks at Jay she’s smiling too. Then the penny drops. “No. No Louis, you’re not giving me any of that money.”

“Well, we can talk about it later, love.”

“I mean it, that money is meant to be for you, you were on about setting up trust funds for your brother and sisters, I’m not taking it.” 

“There’s gonna be more than I thought, let’s put it that way. So, don’t worry about it. It’s all covered. Isn’t it mum?”

Jayjust shakes her head. “I’m not getting involved, I said we didn’t need anything, he insisted.”

Nick gives him his serious look. “Five grand max, you said. Standard industry compo. How much was it?”

“Defective plane. Settled out of court. Can’t talk about the figure, I’ve signed a waiver.” Louis purses his lips but his eyes sparkle.

“You’re impossible. It can’t be that much, it can’t be.”

“We can get a house, my mum’s got a house. We can look at the bar. We’ll be alright.” He nods and smiles, suddenly hugging Nick and laughing. “It’s not BA money, it’s Boeing money! They can afford it babes, don’t worry. Let’s think about some plane related bar names.”

Nick shakes his head, “How about The Cockpit?”

Jay wrinkles her nose. “Sounds like a gay strip club.”

“Yeah that’s what we’re opening isn’t it Lou?”

“We call it a flight deck anyway, what about Trolley Dolly’s?”

Now it’s Nick’s turn to make a face. “Way too camp, it’s got to be sophisticated, like a members’ club.”

Louis clicks his fingers. “First Class Lounge.”

Jay nods her approval “That sounds like somewhere I’d be proud to say my sons own.”

Sons. Plural. Nick swallows hard and gives Louis a squeeze. “Yeah, I reckon business will really take off.”

Louis groans. “Oh God, no plane puns, I’m regretting this whole idea.” He winks at Nick and mouths love you. 

Nick whispers ‘love you too’, and stops the waiter with the champagne, handing out the glasses and raising a glass. “To the terrifying future!” 

The three of them clink their glasses and an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction comes over Nick. All of this from one stolen night at Sir Lenny Henry’s Purple Palace.

**Author's Note:**

> The air crash is based on the crash landing of British Airways flight 038 from Beijing. 
> 
> Visitors to the Purple Palace can be assured that the bar closes at 1am, not midnight, but I couldn't keep my characters waiting that long.


End file.
